ac Page 1202 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kolber, Tafoya Put Out To Pasture?
Courtesy of the firestarting Florio at Pro Football Talk:...

After All That...Jim Zorn?
The Washington Redskins, after a long, dilligent, much publicized, energy wasting search for a head coach, decided the best man for the job was former Seahawks quarterback and their new/former offensive coordinator, Jim Zorn. The search took 32 days — and thousands of miles on Dan Snyder's private p...

I Puck Like A Beast, Too
No Mighty needed: Ducks over Devils, 2-1. Scott Niedermayer returned to the Jerz and promptly made a mockery of his old team. Devils fans welcomed back one of their own with a chorus of boos. Niedermayer, unfazed: "In some ways you take that as a bit of a compliment.Obviously they didn't want you to...

Fisting Kurtis Blow In The Name Of Science
Leon Powe is there to make big shots: Ray Allen is still pissed about that non-call even though the Celtics scored a last-second victory over the determined Minnesota Timberwolves, 88-86 . The Celtics prevailed and overcame the emotional uplift Kevin Garnett's presence in a suit and tie gave to the ...

Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....

And...Let's Just Get This Out Of The Way Early
Two more Chris Berman videos have been unearthed from their dusty graves....

Angry Shaq's Death Toll Currently Stands At One Shark, Maybe Shawn Bradley
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who once attended a Sports and Literature class with Brian Cardinal but still doesn't know whether Cardinal can actually read. When he's not bidding on game-used Kwame Brown NBA logos - listed as very rare!! - he can be found hiding from Shaq at Basketbawful...

The Audacity Of Hoop
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Lakers Lose?! Inconceivable!
Hello, my name is Matt McHale. You killed my father. Prepare to die! (P.S. When I'm not preparing to kill you, I can be found practicing swordplay at Basketbawful.) • You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful! The following is an actual quote from the Associated Press: "With the game on the li...

Lakers Assimilate Gasol, All Resistence Is Now Futile
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not working on his underground bunker in preparation for the Lakers world domination, he can be leading a ragtag group of rebels at B...

It's Election Day, And We Will Make No Giants Analogies
Because we are Americans, and this is what we like to call a "democracy," you all should get out and vote today. We have some friends who, if they live in states that have closed primaries, don't vote because they "don't like to be labeled." Hey, who likes to be labeled? We want to vote....

Mr. T Pities Fools, Miami Heat
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not admiring this Rik Smits wallpaper, he can be found country line dancing at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • At least he's in Barkley's Fav...

Dr. Strangeblog, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love The Closers
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

You Don't Know The Power Of The Dark Side
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not modeling Shaq's "Kazaam" underwear, he can be found studying the ancient art of the Jedi at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Dark forces r...

Lakers Fans Are A Figment Of Our Imagination
I don't know if I've ever met a single person who rooted solely for Los Angeles Lakers. In my entire life, not one die-hard Lakers fan. That's astounding. This leads me to believe that Lakers fandom is reserved exclusively for celebrities and basketball analysts. If the layman Lakers supporter does ...

Donyell Marshall = 100 Percent Grade A Beefcake
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not studying the history of Allen Iverson's hairstyles, he can be found cracking wise at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Bear Down, Barack Obama
We'd completely forgotten about this, even though it's from our home state and followed it pretty closely when it was happening, so we have to thank Sports By Brooks for reminding us: Barack Obama, when he ran for U.S. Senate from Illinois in 2004, was this close to running against ... DITKA!...
