ac Page 1240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's A Nice Week To Be Zach Randolph's Lawyer
Zach Randolph's being sued... again. This time by Portland resident Robert Bacote, who accuses Randolph and Qyntel Woods of assaulting and harassing him because they believed he was the guy who alerted authorities to Qyntel Woods' charming dogfighting hobby....
Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...
Barbaro Forever
Good news for Barbaro fans. If the worst should happen, there's still hope that "Bobby" will not be gone for good. In Austin Texas, scientists successfully cloned a barrel-racing horse named Scamper....
The Perils Of Being An Athlete
It's hard out there for an athlete; they face all sorts of dangers that the rest of us mere mortals don't need to fret about it. This is probably why they're all packing heat....
Not Surprisingly, The Buzzsaw Can't Even Do This Right
Last Sunday, during another grueling loss for The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, the halftime show at the University Of Phoenix Stadium intended to honor the late Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan in April 2004, with the retirement of his jersey on the stadium's Ring Of Honor. A spe...
It's Barbaro's World, We Just Live In It
Well, it's finally happened: Barbaro is now getting letters from other horses. We know this is true because the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine is screening all e-mail to the Barbaro message board these days, and this one got through:...
Own Pac-Man's Car!
As anyone who has dealt with the difficult nature of car salesmen, you sometimes just don't know whom to trust. Fortunately, there's one place you know you can find a good deal on all your automobile needs: Buying cars that were once owned by troubled NFL players and have now been repossessed and ...
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to beat that chick in the mail room. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to [email protected]...
Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....
Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...
Paul Tracy Can't Drive
When you're drunk and blessed with a natural immaturity, there are few things in life that seem like a better idea than taking a golf cart out for a joyride. Champ Car racer Paul Tracy agrees. At least, he did about a week ago, before he his golf cart flipped and landed on his drunk ass, breaking ...
Some Horses Like Wearing Silk More Than Others
Today's Breeders Cup has me in the mood to punch talk about horses and the magnificent sport of horse racing, so here's something you might not have known: War Emblem, 2002 Kentucky Derby and Preakness champion, is gay....
It's Really Just Cruel To Not Allow Rasheed To Bitch And Moan
Much has been written about the new "zero tolerance" rule in the NBA, which allows referees to slap a technical on anybody who so much as sneezes in their general direction. Already, three players have been ejected because of the new rules, including Mike Bibby, Carmelo Anthony and, yes, Rasheed Wal...
Welcome, At Last, To Ron Artest's World
You might have missed it with all the business of watching parades of sexy nurses/witches/superheroes/hockey players pass by, but on Halloween, the new album from Ron Artest "dropped," as they say. It's called "My World," and it is apparently not inspired by the weird song Axl Rose put on the end of...
Is Your Relationship With Barbaro All That It Can Be?
Even though he has faced many obstacles recently — including a stinging defeat in our Hall of Fame balloting of a couple of months ago — Barbaro has somehow always found the will to survive. And now the racehorse is on the verge of the most dramatic triumph of all, as doctors announced on Wednesda...
It's Morning In America!
So, hey, good morning, everybody. What'd we miss?...
We're Freaking McNuts, Man, And We McLove It
You know ... it's possible that Eagles fans are becoming rather upset with their team's play of late....
Red Auerbach Passes Away
I'm too young and to fully appreciate the aura of Red Auerbach, but I do know that anyone willing to fire up a cigar on the bench before the game was over is a bad-ass. Red also coached the Boston Celtics to nine NBA championships, eight of them in a row... which also doesn't hurt his image as a b...