aces Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Field Guide To Boston Sports Radio Chowderheads
Every day, it seems, a different Boston sports radio dipshit is delivering a take from a time when segregation was acceptable, getting attention for being five seconds away from challenging a listener to a parking lot fight for Tom Brady’s honor. Although you may not pay attention to these awful stu...
May Your Own Retirement Be So Peaceful
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A Tortoise Raced A Hare
I won’t ruin this for you, in case you want to go grab a bud and place a bet on this....
Flint's Crim Races Shifted $40,000 From Prizes To Provide Free Entries
The Bobby Crim 10-Mile is one of those legacy road races, birthed in the heyday of U.S. distance running, 1977, that popped up in unlikely places like Davenport, Iowa, or Falmouth, Mass., or in this case, Flint, Mich. Almost immediately, Crim attracted a top competitive field—Greg Meyer, Bill Rodger...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Can Extreme Endurance Races Be Mainstreamed?
Runners competing in the second annual Ultra Fiord 100 trail run in Patagonia waded through a chest-deep glacial stream early on, then faced hours and miles of steep, technical climbs, harrowing descents, freezing temperatures, thigh-deep mud, leg-snapping boulder fields, blowing snow and fierce win...
We Have Found It, The Place All Hot Takes Are Born
Deep in the heart of Take Forest, at the peak of Mt. Take, lies the source of all takes....
Here's What Happened When We Used Snapchat's Face Swap Filter On An Episode Of <i>PTI</i>
Because we are sick in the head, we were curious what would happen if we took today’s episode of Pardon the Interruption and ran it through Snapchat’s face swap filter. The results are, as you might expect, horrifying....
Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?
Last night’s first round of the NFL draft featured many large men embracing an extremely rich one. As we do every year, we’ve measured each draftee’s hug time and measured it against his fellow rookies. The winner? New Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal, who got intimate with Roger Goodell for more t...
WHARRGARBL
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How To Win At A Casino
With all due respect to the good people of Thackerville, Okla., I am not currently aware of any defensible reason to rumble down their I-35 off-ramp other than to wander, aimlessly and awestruck, around the world’s largest casino. That is, unless you really like tornadoes or porno stores, the two th...
High Jumper Sports Weird Beard
Here’s Italian high jumper Gianmarco Tamberi at this weekend’s Diamond League event in London. He, uh, missed a spot....
Did ESPN President John Skipper Play Dewey On <i>Malcolm In The Middle</i>?
Watch this video and be the judge....
Berman Told The Barber To Leave It Long In The Back Back Back Back
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The Sling I Wear On My Mangled Arm Smells Like Ass, Please Help
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Don't Be A Dick At Concerts
Nothing ruins a concert faster than some rude-ass fellow concertgoers. At a certain point, it’s gotta be legal for you to swat a phone out of someone’s hand who just won’t stop taking pictures at a show. It’s not cool, man. You can’t control the behavior of someone else, but you can make sure you’re...
Good Morning
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Champion Powerboat Racer Who Faked His Death Surrenders To Authorities
Andrew Biddle—the champion powerboat racer who authorities suspected of faking his own death in a boating accident—surrendered in Atlantic County Superior Court today. Biddle and a friend were supposedly in a boat that crashed into a buoy off of Longport (N.J.) last July. The friend swam to shore an...
Somebody Spoiled The <i>50 Shades</i> Ending For Billy Donovan
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Screencap Classix: What Has Been Exclusively Seen Cannot Be Unseen
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