aces Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Courageous TV Reporter Lays Out To Catch Loose Horse On Track
Hayley Moore, a TV reporter for At The Races, provided a bit of action on the British horse-race channel Tuesday when she wrangled a loose horse with one hand. That’s some impressive extension....
Mets Finally, Fully Break Up With Matt Harvey
Baseball is difficult and contingent and deeply cruel under the best of circumstances, and playing baseball for the New York Mets is not the best of circumstances. It is a big-league job and pays commensurately, and when things are going well it comes with a gaudy suite of perks and sweeteners, but ...
Just Two Fine Young Boys Enjoying A Basketball Game
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Lawsuit: Baseball Agency Made Under-The-Table Payments To Players, Helped Provide Them PEDs
ACES Baseball Agency is being sued by a former associate, Juan Carlos Nuñez, who says his former bosses encouraged him to make under-the-table payments to players and their families as well as help clients get steroids for bigger contracts. The lawsuit was filed today in New York State Supreme Court...
Scotland National Team Manager Wants Big Scots To Hump And Make Tall Players
Gordon Strachan, manager of the Scotland national soccer team, has given lots of thought to what exactly is plaguing his native country’s soccer. Insufficient funding? His own bad coaching? The natural limitations of a nation of only about five million people? All minor issues by Strachan’s reckonin...
Here Is A Braces Horror Story Worse Than The One Keith Hernandez Used To Traumatize A Young Girl Tonight
Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez took it upon himself tonight to horrify a poor girl with the story of the time his braces were smashed into his lips during a game of pick-up basketball, which required several painful hours of recovery work by the school nurse:...
A Field Guide To Boston Sports Radio Chowderheads
Every day, it seems, a different Boston sports radio dipshit is delivering a take from a time when segregation was acceptable, getting attention for being five seconds away from challenging a listener to a parking lot fight for Tom Brady’s honor. Although you may not pay attention to these awful stu...
May Your Own Retirement Be So Peaceful
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A Tortoise Raced A Hare
I won’t ruin this for you, in case you want to go grab a bud and place a bet on this....
Flint's Crim Races Shifted $40,000 From Prizes To Provide Free Entries
The Bobby Crim 10-Mile is one of those legacy road races, birthed in the heyday of U.S. distance running, 1977, that popped up in unlikely places like Davenport, Iowa, or Falmouth, Mass., or in this case, Flint, Mich. Almost immediately, Crim attracted a top competitive field—Greg Meyer, Bill Rodger...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Can Extreme Endurance Races Be Mainstreamed?
Runners competing in the second annual Ultra Fiord 100 trail run in Patagonia waded through a chest-deep glacial stream early on, then faced hours and miles of steep, technical climbs, harrowing descents, freezing temperatures, thigh-deep mud, leg-snapping boulder fields, blowing snow and fierce win...
We Have Found It, The Place All Hot Takes Are Born
Deep in the heart of Take Forest, at the peak of Mt. Take, lies the source of all takes....
Here's What Happened When We Used Snapchat's Face Swap Filter On An Episode Of <i>PTI</i>
Because we are sick in the head, we were curious what would happen if we took today’s episode of Pardon the Interruption and ran it through Snapchat’s face swap filter. The results are, as you might expect, horrifying....
Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?
Last night’s first round of the NFL draft featured many large men embracing an extremely rich one. As we do every year, we’ve measured each draftee’s hug time and measured it against his fellow rookies. The winner? New Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal, who got intimate with Roger Goodell for more t...
WHARRGARBL
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How To Win At A Casino
With all due respect to the good people of Thackerville, Okla., I am not currently aware of any defensible reason to rumble down their I-35 off-ramp other than to wander, aimlessly and awestruck, around the world’s largest casino. That is, unless you really like tornadoes or porno stores, the two th...
High Jumper Sports Weird Beard
Here’s Italian high jumper Gianmarco Tamberi at this weekend’s Diamond League event in London. He, uh, missed a spot....
Did ESPN President John Skipper Play Dewey On <i>Malcolm In The Middle</i>?
Watch this video and be the judge....
Berman Told The Barber To Leave It Long In The Back Back Back Back
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