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Animal Abuse: Funnier In The Name Of School Rivalries, But Still Wrong
Despite what Oregon's uniforms will tell you (and they'll tell you a lot of things), ducks do not naturally come in orange and green. This little fella was spray-painted by some Beaver fans and left to die....

Open Your Mouth, Here Comes Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

"SI" Writer Jon Wertheim Would Like You To Watch Roger Federer's Giggle Fit
Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim, author of Strokes of Genius: Federer, Nadal, and the Greatest Match Ever Played, was kind enough to let me bother him. Here, he considers Tiger Woods and challenges Will Leitch to a bet:...

Urban Meyer Aborts His Defensive Line: Your SEC Championship Preview / Open Thread
So last weekend I went with @girlfriend to the teensie tiny town of Wetumpka, Alabama, which meant I had the chance to see the Iron Bowl in its natural habitat....

Your College Football Watching Open Thread
Judging by the early score of the Pitt-Cincinnati game, the horse head left outside Skyline Chili HQ is having its expected result....

Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...

The One With Grady Sizemore Outrage And Antawn Jamison's Not-Gay Shoe Party
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Comcast Continues To Find Hidden Subtext Of NBA Games
A reader sends us more evidence of a Comcast cable guide curator who is maybe missing the point of a particular NBA game. Unless Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess have a secret love child that I haven't heard about....

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Last Night's Winner: LeGarrette Blount
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Oregon's LeGarrette Blount (not pictured) who only played two games this season, but left his mark on both. And on a couple of faces....

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Explains Those Missed Bunt Signs
More players than ever before have come before MLB with a signed doctor's note, swearing they have ADHD, and by the way, they have to take otherwise-banned stimulants. We're skeptical....

Our Nation's Athletes' Traffic Violations Are No Longer Below-The-Fold News
Adrian Peterson was ticketed for doing 109 in a who-cares-how-many mph zone. But a police spokesperson took pains to assure the press that the traffic stop was "very routine." This is the world we live in now. [Pioneer Press]...

The Master Of The Press Conference Delivers Again
Pressers are invariably boring; unless Allen Iverson is involved. We got a doozy today, as AI broke down announcing his return to the 76ers....

Decade Retrospective: 2003
We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2003, back we used Gopher to check our email, back when the Chicago Cubs were only 11 years removed from their most recent World Series. Simple times....

Gay Lip-Readers All Over America Are Upset With Jim Harbaugh
I don't know. I think he may have said "Fucking Asshole Fungus." [TowleRoad]...

Is The Big Ten The Best Hoops Conference?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Blame Canada, Says The <em>Times</em>
The strong Canadian dollar is buoying Canadian NHL teams at the expense of American ones, while the Bills' "home game" in Toronto is decimating Buffalo businesses. It's time we use rendition to get Chris Bosh. [NY Times / NY Times]...

Another Eulogy For <em>The National</em>
Bud Shaw has a nice reminiscence of his time at The National, the short-lived sports daily over which media people of a certain age get understandably wistful, at least when they're not getting wistful over Spy. [Mental Floss]...

Jerry Rice Will Just Talk To Any Damn Magazine That Calls Him
The most incredible magazine interview ever granted by Jerry Rice to a dentistry and oral hygiene publication. Here's a sample: "There wasn't a lot of focus on protecting your teeth in high school." /socksknockedthefuckoff! [Dear Doctor]...