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And After He Took The Shot, He Beat The Crap Out Of Both Of Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

There's One In Every Crowd
A desperate Wisconsin Badger fan that is. He will do whatever it takes to draw attention to himself, even if that means buying tickets for 100 Midshipmen to be his personal bodyguards. (Click to embiggen.)...

Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Gynecology Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

"The Stadium Died At 9:24"
See also: Tiger Stadium Leveled to Final Shovel of Dust [Sports Climax]...

Boston Now Leads The League In Bubbly, Young Sports Reporters
Jade McCarthy is the newest reporter to join NESN's broadcast crew—a team that already features Heidi Watney and Kathryn Tappen. [Red Sox Monster]...

No Autographs, Please. Mr. Hellraiser Has A Plane To Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....

Canada Bogarting Its 2010 Olympic Venues
Canada—a country known planet-wide for its legendary rudeness and treachery—is denying foreign athletes access to Olympics sites in the run-up to the Vancouver Games, in order to protect their precious home-snow advantage. Oh....it is on, hosers....

The Learning Curve: Phinally Philly
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan's Pain (Not Really)
If you watched Georgia Tech beat Clemson two weeks ago, you might have noticed this Tiger fan's Oscar reel for Most Distraught Football Fanatic and the announcing crew's on-air sympathy. Of course, off the air was a different story....

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

UCF Goes All Klan Rally To Welcome Racism Victims
Central Florida hosted the University of Buffalo last night, 51 years after the Bulls were told their black players weren't welcome. How to show respect for these civil rights pioneers? Let's have everyone wear all white!...

We've Sighted The Elusive Hardcore Jags Fan
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Your College Football Open Thread
Can Lane Kiffin's Vols cover the spread against Florida? How will TCU handle Texas State-San Marcos' explosive directional punting game? Sound off here. [CBS Sports]...

Peyton Appreciates His Receivers & Tight Ends
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The BAC Of The Entire Adelman Family Is About 7.4
This is...impressive. Daughter of Rockets' head coach Rick Adelman, Kathryn Naro, a high school women's head basketball coach was pinched for her second DUI earlier this week, bringing the total number of Adelman children busted for DUIs to three....