ad Page 1519 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, You Can't Park That There!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Big Ben's Accuser Is 18 Kinds Of Crazy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

King Bloomberg Can't Hear You With All These Goddamned Commoners Barking
NYC's "benevolent tyrant," adorned in fine lavender, at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA. [Bugs & Cranks]...

Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...

Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

This Man Will Not Defecate For Less Than Your Annual Salary
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bad Golf-As-Sex Metaphors Will Get You Fired
Which do you think this government official really got fired for: showing his peen to a golf course employee, or coming up with a truly awful one-liner?...

At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....

Apparently Joanna Krupa Is Not A Fan Of Ryan Braun's Fashion Line
At another one of those REMETEE events (remember: like "remedy" not "ream tea") the model-turned-whatever privately told one photog what she thought of Braun's creation: "It looks like Ozzy Osbourne threw up on you." [Milwaukee Nights]...

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...

The Ongoing Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Last summer, I did a story about Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews and his self-diagnosed depression issues, but after a recent odd locker room outburst in front of reporters, I'm a little more convinced he's got some major problems....

Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Albom Comes Alive!
In addition to being a very successful author for Oprah's army and a person who was a classically trained journalist at a prestigious institution, Mitch Albom moonlights as a rock star dwarf. [Mental Floss]...

Why Your Team Sucks: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Peter King Shows Off HIs Under Armour, Unwavering Red Sox Fanaticism
SI's lovable NFL columnist took some time away from pre-season coverage and colonoscopies to take in the Friday night beat down of the Boston Red Sox at Fenway. [Bar Stool Sports]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people, like asshole Daulerio, are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Best Running Back On The Planet Shows Off Quzzical Dead Duck Face
Adrian Peterson pops up in a photo gallery on Gobbler Country and shows the world that he can also be cruel to animals. Beware the crazed duck lovers converging upon Minnesota to display their outrage. [GC via SB]...

Cowboys Stadium Offers Valuable Seating Behind This Brick Wall
We've already covered the new Cowboys Stadium's opulent luxury, from the $40 million scoreboard to the $60 pizzas. How about $75 seats where you can only see one-third of the playing field? Thank you, Jerry Jones for all your blessings!...

Meet Crusher, Nightmare Ant's Crustacean Relation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....