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When You Don't Need To Read Past The Headline
"Gay, Mentally Challenged Biracial Male Cheerleader Claims Discrimination." I gotta be honest, I don't feel completely right throwing this piece of meat to you commenter dogs. Be kind. [Seattle Weekly]...

Lady Makes Left Turns, Acquits Self Nicely; Apparently A Huge Step Forward For Entire Gender
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Last Night's Winner: OchoCinco's South Beach Harem
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Chad OchoCinco, who's making Miami his own personal playground and Twittering his escapades....

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

The One Where A Former NFL Assistant Coach Lets Us Know He's Not, In Fact, This Scantily Clad Woman
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Philadelphia Wing Bowl 18: They Did It All For The Snooki
Brian P. Hickey woke up at 5 a.m. today to go watch the 18th annual Philadelphia azzzhole convention known as the "The Wing Bowl." He filed this report.(See Philly.com's full Wing Bowl Gallery here.)...

Bad Beats: It's Only Teenage Wasteland
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

The Always-Controversial Weather Channel Sees A Hurricane WhoDat Comin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Saints Just Officially Lost The Super Bowl
New Orleans has scheduled a parade for next Tuesday, "win or lose." The football gods don't like hubris, and they especially don't like fêting losers. So it's a jinx-jinx situation either way. [Indy Star]...

Dwight Howard's Baby Mama Is The Early Star Of Super Bowl Week
Yesterday's big Super Bowl throwdown: a pool party thrown by T.O., Chad Ochocinco and Ludacris. Strange enough, without the showstopping appearance of the woman involved in a custody battle with Dwight Howard....

Super Bowl Subplot #7: Shhh! Commercials!
The only thing people love more than Super Bowl commercials is complaining about people who only care about the commercials. Or is it complaining about those complainers? I feel like we've had this conversation before....

BOOOOBS!:A Gripping Photojournalistic Account Of The Monterrey, Mexico, Flashing Incident
The most amusing part of this NSFW gallery of Leah Catherine Spencer, the Lone Wolf of Monterrey, Mexico, are the sweaty guys jockeying for iPhone close-ups and the boundless joy she brought to soccer fans that day. Especially the children....

The Tim Tebow Mailbag: This Is What Happens When You Write About Abortion
Last week, Mr. Craggs dared to express concern about the upcoming Tebow FOTF commercial. He got some mail. Here's a smattering of screeching protest, strident opinions and ridiculous insults about his post on Super Bowl XLI's most talked about ad....

A Portrait Of The Editor As A Young Man
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Trademarking Sports: Who Owns What You Watch
With the uproar over the rights to Who Dat, it's instructive to take a look at a brief history of sports trademarks (with the help of the US Patent Office) and learn that the right person rarely ever gets rich....

Mike Golic's Appearance On Dan Patrick's Radio Show Will Not Get Him Sent To Bristol Stockade
Yesterday morning, while on set in Miami, Dan Patrick half-jokingly invited ESPN's Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg to come on to his show. Greenberg declined, but Golic gleefully obliged. Technically, ESPN personalities are forbidden from appearing on competing shows. CHAOS....

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Look Out ESPN: The Ocho Cinco News Network Is On The Air
I don't know about you, but I'd rather watch Chad Ochocinco prowl media day as a reporter than any number of Mexican models. (Why are you looking at me that way?)...