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And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....
Take a Survey, Enter to Win the Chance to Rock Out
Summer's here, folks. Take this survey, email the last question to [email protected] to get registered to win a $150 Ticketmaster gift card. (Sorry, you've missed Bernie Williams' jazz guitar stylings. (Try to stop crying long enough to check out the Standard Contest Rules.)...
We Are Gathered Here Today To Take It To The House
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....
Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....
The One Where Everyone Talks About That Thing That Everyone's Talking About
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Matt Holliday Gets Sucked Into The Strong, Midwestern Embrace Of The St. Louis Cardinals
"The Athletics and Cardinals have completed a trade that sends outfielder Matt Holliday to St. Louis in exchange for third baseman Brett Wallace, outfielder Shane Peterson and right-handed pitcher Clayton Mortensen, sources told ESPN The Magazine's Buster Olney." [ESPN]...
Spend Your Day Tracking Stephon Marbury's Eclecticism
As Skeets (SKEETS!) noted: This is unreal. [UStream]...
Even Babies Know The Mets Deserve To Get Puked On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Former ML'er A Texas-Sized Deadbeat Dad
Troy Neel, who bought an island in fricking Vanuatu to avoid paying his state-record $700,000 in child support, was sentenced today. That's twice as much as he earned in his three years in MLB. [San Antonio Express-News]...
LeBron Once Smoked The Reefer, Ever-Discerning ESPN Informs Us
ZOMG! LeBron James is one of 97 million Americans to have smoked marijuana! This is news! Hannah Storm just told the world! It's on the front page of ESPN.com! Right below that unfortunate business with Ben Roethlisberger!...
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
Red Sox Trading For Players They Don't Even Want
The Red Sox, in full panic mode and mistakenly believing they were allowed a 45-man roster, are now collecting baseball players the way most people collect baseball cards: They don't have the space or use for them....
Seriously, Guys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Spectacularly Awful Beats Boringly Mediocre Every Time
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Dear You, Last Chance to Tell Us More About Yourself...
...by completing this fun-filled survey all about YOU. Send the last question to [email protected], thereby entering yourself to win a $300 AMEX gift card. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach together, planning our future while the surf gently laps at our toes. Love, Gawker. [Contest rules app...
Hooded Dicks Vs. Unhooded Penises
Via Jeffrey Goldberg, this is a story from the Sept. 1, 1926, edition of the Washington Post. No word on who won. Fun fact: The Povich you see there is Abe Povich, brother of Shirley, uncle of Maury. [Jeffrey Goldberg]...
TMZ Purchases LeBron Dunk Tape Before We Do
Yes. Purchased it. Because despite Nike's best efforts to keep this thing under wraps, another amateur videographer smart enough to not hand it over has been shopping it for weeks when it became apparent the world wanted to Witness....
GET HAMMERED! Tad Kubler Of The Hold Steady On The Deadcast
This week's Deadcast guest is Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler (Listen here, iTunes here.) DOUBLE WHISKY COKE NO ICE....
In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...