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To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......
Jesus Sportsblogging Christ, I Hate This Ad
Forgive the momentary diversion, but I've taken as much as I can from this G2 ad and I can't takes no more. Seriously, what the fuck is the deal with this thing? The Sporting Blog had a fine piece the other week decrying the various grating NBA Playoff commercials that are quickly driving us to self...
Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....
So, Yeah, Active Week
• See ya, Hirshey. • See ya ... what? See ya ... us? • If the Cubs are gonna keep winning, at least this happened. • Uh, yikes. • This guy is the greatest. • Ron Artest, journalist. • Drew, out of the closet. • We're not sure we'd get along with Chuck Bednarik. • Everybody likes that Kimbo Slice cha...
Apparently, It Doesn't Pay To Go After Umps
The kid, Matt Hill, was supposed to walk on at Gordon College. Not any more....
You're Too Much Trouble. Get Some Therapy.
We were a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like us. We did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. We did the best tomato, the best cucumber... we did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass....
The Statue Of Liberty Has Never Looked So ... Ugh
We're just more than a month away from the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium — and hey, tickets are down to a totally reasonable $29,500! — and MLB is breaking out the big promotional guns. Check out these commemorative beauties....
Motivational Stories From Kentucky Little League
This one-legged wonder featured in the photo above is 8-year-old Adam Bender, who has one leg (obviously) and, apparently, may still have a higher OPS than Richie Sexson will this year....
Dancing Men Scare Busch Stadium Bleacher Crowd
If we know your typical Busch Stadium-weekday-night-game crowd well enough ... there were some very confused fans in those bleachers. And lots of angry letters to the Cardinals front office....
Kansas City Gripped By Quincy Carter Fever
He's not exactly back in the NFL, but the Kansas City Brigade of the Arena Football League is a start. And believe it or not, that's a step up for the former Dallas Cowboys quartertback Quincy Carter, who was last seen playing for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings of the af2. After joining the Brig...
Chase Utley Is The Most Interesting Man In The World
Chase Utley is lighter than air, can charm the birds out of the trees and never forgets your birthday. His blood smells like cologne. He also makes diving, backhanded catches, has hit 21 home runs, will run into the catcher full tilt and is not opposed to bunting his way on base. On Monday, his hero...
Never Underestimate The Sex Appeal Of A Phillies' Fan Sidewalk-Napping In Her Own Chunk
This brilliantly disturbing photo (no, she's not dead, just sleepy) was captured last week by the ribald red-hatted rebel rousers who call themselves The Fightins.. No, it's not uncommon to find Phillies fans grossly intoxicated and laid out on the ground, but it is a wonder how this poor girl act...
May The Force Beat With You
This rugged-looking woman is not your ordinary female MMA warrior fighting at Saturday's "Princesses of Pain" event in New Zealand. No, this woman is Amanda Lucas, daughter of George Lucas, of Star Wars infamy....
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...
This Letter To The Editor Comes From The Skull
Selena Roberts might believe that the athletes and reporters have drifted as far away from each other as possible, but they might beg to differ in Cameroon. There, the relationship is a little more strained....
Woody Paige Would Like To Trade Matt Holliday For Magic Beans
We've certainly made fun of Woody Paige for a while around these parts, but we've still given him a level of esteem and prestige above that of a random late-night talk-radio caller. But considering the amount of basic understanding (or lack thereof) of how the operation of a baseball team works he s...
Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...
The Tiffany Network Introduces Old White People To A Big Scary Black Guy
CBS, the network that brought us such daring programs as Touched By an Angel and Joan of Arcadia ("We interrupt this broadcast of Joan of Arcadia and apologize to the sanctimonious, fear-based and probably overweight audience"), will be beaming Kimbo Slice into the homes of terrified millions, as m...
Hitchin' A Ride
• Foul, or not a foul? Doesn't matter now. • Oddsmaker came back! • This car is awesome. • Michael Jackson, UFC fan. • Loving YMCA. • Ryan Howard, a Tractor Traylor heir. • Alfonso Soriano is sensitive. • Back from France. • Scary. • Here comes Reilly! • Borat and heavyweight champs....