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Cole Hamels Should Really Not Let His Wife Speak In Public
The Philadelphia Phillies' ace and his wife, former"Survivor" temptress, Heidi Strobel, have decided to use their good fortune and popularity to add the latest Hollywood accessory to their young family: AIDS orphans....

It's Official: Baseball Is Worse Than Professional Wrestling
Well, that's if you listen to former Minnesota Governor and feather-boa'd wrestler, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who wondered why the Feds aren't going after Bud Selig like they did Vince McMahon....

'Hot Girls In Scary Places' To Change TV As We Know It
Other so-called advancements in civilization — Archimedes' foundations of hydrostatics, Einstein splitting the atom — pale in comparison to this: E! Entertainment has a new TV show in which USC Song Girls investigate paranormal activity....

Unfortunate Ad Placement: Alex Rodriguez Edition
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Yeah, I Guess Somebody Had To Use This Headline
Deuce McAllister cut from Saints; Fox Sports headline writers finally get a chance to be 12-year-olds again. [Fox Sports]...

A Michael Vick Defender Anonymously Steps Forward To Offer Perspective
Michael Vick may return to the NFL for the 2009-10 season and The Modern Spectator offers one of the more entertainingly honest takes on this reality. Especially if you value human life over pets....

Nobody Circles The Bedouins Like The Buffalo Bills Cheerleaders
Julie Dermansky is a New York photojournalist currently on freelance assignment in Iraq, where her next-door neighbors in the Baghdad hotel in which she's staying happen to be the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders....

I'll Take Gay Male Rugby Cheerleaders For 500, Alex
Being an openly gay cheerleader in Australian rugby can't exactly be easy, but Aaron Neich is beginning his career with a great attitude. If people don't like it, they can talk to the hand....

This Meeting Of The USC Song Girls Will Come To Order
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap.(NSFW)...

I See No Way This Can Be Good For Anyone
Dallas radio station jumps to the defense of the high school girls basketball team that lost 100-0, challenges the winner to a game. Of course this will tragically backfire. [Uwe Blog]...

Jamie Moyer Is Sad About These Kids And Their Steroids
Spring Training is here (huzzah!), but all people want to talk about is steroids. Anyone wearing a baseball hat will be asked about it, but no opinion carries more weight than Jamie Moyer's....

Little Man Nate Exposes Superman's Weakness
Showmanship trumped awe-inspiration Saturday night, as 5'9 Nate Robinson's pogo-like leaping ability enabled him to win his second NBA dunk competition. SKEETS! ranked Robinson's "Krypto-Nate" as the best of the weekend....

Jennifer Has Always Been A Rebel
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

HBO’s new comedy series, Eastbound & Down, premieres tonight
Watch a scene from HBO's hilarious new comedy series, EASTBOUND & DOWN, which premieres tonight at 10:30 PM – only on HBO....

The Awesomeness That is the H-O-R-S-E Trophy
So, that's what Kevin Durant received for his troubles yesterday. Yes, it's a miniature horse inside a hastily-assembled plastic box. You got a problem with that?...

Well, This is Actually Better...
"Unless you've been in a cave under the ocean..." Did he always have an accent?...

Amar'e Stoudemire Can't Understand Why The Suns Want To Trade Him So Much
"You've never heard about any DUI's or any trouble at all since I've been in the league. I'm 100 percent professional and charismatic, and made sure my character stood as such.[TheSportingBlog]...

Jayson Williams Knows How To Treat A Lady Right
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, we bring you this update on former Net (and accused limo driver assassin) Jayson Williams. Williams' wife filed for divorce recently due to his overwhelming vileness and abusiveness....

Jay Mariotti Is Even More Ready For His Close-Up
Morning, Spinheads. Let's start this lovely Saturday with a little mini "Deleted Scenes"-like goodness courtesy of a reader who supposedly bumped into the dapper Fanhouse columnist last night at an NBA All-Star fete....

The One With Jamal Anderson's Other (Alleged!) Bathroom Stall Activities
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...