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Your "Let's Get Out Of Here Already" Friday Afternoon Picture Post Of Surrealism
We're making this a Friday afternoon tradition. Somebody arrest that moose, fast....

Safeco Not A Welcoming Place For Gay Couples Brazen Enough To Show Affection
According to one unhappy Mariners fan, the security guards at Safeco Field almost got her tossed her out of a Mariners game last week because she was "making out" with her girlfriend in the stands....

Innovative Uses Of Google Text Ads
Like every other human, we occasionally do google searches of our own name. Imagine our surprise when, this morning, we found this text ad....

ESPN Confusingly Rids Itself Of Mark Madden's Vileness
Hiring a "shock jock" at a radio station always comes with a certain amount of risk. The lines of good and bad taste are usually drawn up arbitrarily, and punishment for crossing this imaginary line is usually enforced when a certain segment of listeners, advertisers, or executives are personally of...

About Last Night
What you missed while being assaulted with Moon Pies ... • NBA: Lakers take 3-1 series lead over Spurs, situating themselves perfectly for monumental collapse. • MLB: Let there be light! Santana delivers, as Mets crawl back from the brink of despair, beat Marlins 5-3. • Despite Will's sudden departu...

Ashley Harkleroad's No Dummy When It Comes To Her Career
Most of us who don't follow women's tennis on a regular basis had probably not heard of Ashley Harkleroad up until last weekend, when it came out that the 23-year-old lassie will one-up the provocative poses of other ladies in her sport by shedding her Fancy Pants for the August issue of Playboy....

Ryan Howard And His Dancing Turkey Neck
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awf...

Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...

What Not To Do With A Championship Trophy
Yep, the Chiefs won their Canadian Hockey League title and then promptly dropped and broke the trophy. They were booed for it, but man, if this ever happens to the Stanley Cup, fans will tear the place apart. (Lil Jon will be first in line.) We've always wondered when something like this would happe...

When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny
There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That rea...

MLB.tv Now Selling You More Stuff
MLB.tv, for which we pay $110 annually, introduced a new feature on its games yesterday: House ads for MLB.tv, played in-between innings, imploring fans to "keep watching." Well, OK, we'll keep watching, as long as you promise the games are coming back on. They are, right? OK, cool: The watching sha...

Tiny Man Celebrates Bulls' Blind Luck
The tiny man you see here — and "tiny," of course, is relative to two men standing next to him; in reality, he's probably 6-foot-9 — is Steve Schanwald, executive VP of the Chicago Bulls. He was a very happy tiny man last night; it's a good thing Chicago isn't a huge city with a potentially rabid f...

Roger Clemens Probably Won't Be Downloading This Song
Anti-depressant poster girl and Roger Clemens Lolita Mindy McCready is showing she's still willing to steamroll ahead with her country singin' comeback regardless of the big white Rocket-shaped elephant that sits in her living room. McCready posted this YouTube message in an effort to let her remain...

Tonight, Ping Pong Balls Galore
It's the NBA Draft Lottery tonight, otherwise known as "we can't believe the Knicks didn't trade away their first round pick." If you get your jollies from doing mockups of ping pong balls bouncing around, Chad Ford, as always, has your back....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

It's Possible Some Bay-To-Breakers Participants May Be Gay
The main reason I no longer attend the San Francisco Bay to Breakers Race; someone has turned the freak dial way too high. Although, I should point out that the group pictured here actually ended up winning the race, beating a Kenyan runner by 22 seconds (may not be true). And while this photo may b...

I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...

Yankee Stadium Looks To Be Going Down Without A Fight
Just to follow up on what Rick was saying earlier ... we don't think we're gonna have much reason to write about the Yankees too much longer. Once that All-Star Game is over, and we'll just have the Yankee Stadium elegies ... and then we can all go back to our lives. The Yankees looked deader than ...