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To Watch Tonight
What to watch while preparing for the NFL Draft ... • NBA: Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 2, Dallas at New Orleans (7 p.m., ET), Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 2, Phoenix at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). The Southwest Shall Rule Again. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference quarterfinals, Ga...
Canadiens Fans Advance To Second Round With Quiet Dignity
Sure, beating the Boston Bruins at any point in the NHL playoffs is a monumental achievement; just ask Bill Simmons. But I'm beginning to suspect that Montreal fans are just looking for an excuse to riot. Looting after a first-round playoff win? Really? Look, Canada ... the NBA Playoffs are going on...
Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...
Hold Onto The Damn Ball, Dude
We've never been fortunate enough to grab a baseball at a game, but if we did, we suspect we'd jump around and act the fool for whatever camera happened to be within eye's reach. We'd be that excited. One thing you can guarantee, though, is that we'd hang onto the damned ball. Unlike this Red Sox fa...
Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
You Won't Be Able To Hide From This Election
Anyone watching the Mets-Phillies game on ESPN last night probably noticed the avid political junkie who kept putting up a "HILLARY" sign every time a lefthanded hitter came to the plate....
Pistons Eat Jerseys, Choke On Game
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's in bed smoking a cigarette after a fulfilling weekend of playoff action. When he's not replaying the events over and over in his head, you can find him basking in the afterglow at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Memo to the Pistons: You might wanna take these gu...
Free Darko On Detroit-Philadelphia
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief....
The Hardy Boys Presents: The Missing Alcoholic Content
Reason #267 why San Diego is not in the running to host a Deadspin Pants Party: Their stadium beer doesn't get you drunk enough. A San Diego Union-Tribune EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION revealed that the $8.50 cup of beer — be it Budweiser, Miller, or Miller Lite ... Budweiser!, Miller! Millerliiii-ite ......
Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...
JaVale McGee Has NBA Upside, Says Mommy
It seems like a safe bet to say that Nevada center JaVale McGee will be a first round pick in the NBA Draft this summer. He has a 7-foot body, is athletic, and Chad Ford has him at No. 17 in his prospect rankings. Pretty admirable, no? But clearly this level-headed analysis is selling the precious M...
Maddux Left For Dead, Doesn't Actually Die
Thursday "night"'s game for San Diego lasted all of 22 innings. Friday's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks was over after just one inning, when they were losing 6-0. And as impressive as Dan Haren, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, THE UNPREDICTABLE ERIC BYRNES WOBBITY WOK, and all of the other Diamo...
Goodbye To All That
• We miss Isiah, already. • No more primates at the Washington Post. • Good night, Lima. • NFL schedule is out. • The end of Harold Reynolds' lawsuit against ESPN. • Carmelo is very sorry. • Lots of discussions on Bill Simmons. But no Barack Obama for him. • Will Clark, charming. • One Nutty Buddy. ...
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
ESPN Plays "To Catch A Predator"
How you react to E:60's "Gotcha!" report on Miguel Tejada's age, we've found, depends a lot on whether or not you're a journalist....
Nothing Happened The Way It Was Supposed To Happen
All right, let us tell you about your "God's plan." Six billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a ninety-percent kill rate, that's five point four billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than one-percent immunity. That left twelve million healthy people, like you, us, an...
An Update From The Deadspin Beijing Bureau
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
Mmmff (Yawn) Good Morning ... Is The Padres Game Over Yet?
As a weary nation slept peacefully, the Rockies' Kip Wells struck out Padres' pitcher Glendon Rusch to end the longest game in either team's history; a 22-inning, 2-1 win for Colorado at Petco Park. It all ended at 1:21 a.m. PST — 4:21 on the east coast — 6 hours, 16 minutes after it had begun. By t...
Get Along, 76ers
Here are some more not-so-revealing photos of an NBA dance team, courtesy of internet rapscallion Don Chavez, who pulled these pictures of the Sixers dance team acting like an ample-bosomed professional dance team out at a bar, from some unsuspecting member's Webshots album. The significance of thi...