Maddux Left For Dead, Doesn't Actually Die

Thursday "night"'s game for San Diego lasted all of 22 innings. Friday's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks was over after just one inning, when they were losing 6-0. And as impressive as Dan Haren, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, THE UNPREDICTABLE ERIC BYRNES WOBBITY WOK, and all of the other Diamondbacks in that good and young, young and good lineup... Maddux seemed to shine above them, despite giving up all nine runs in their 9-0 defeat.

He continued to pitch, with the embarrassment of giving up six runs after the first inning, and actually made it all the way to the seventh inning, allowing his bullpen to pitch just one inning. If there was a category of respect you never gave Greg Maddux before ("Well, sure, he's great at defense, pitching, pitching in the playoffs ... but how does he handle getting his ass beat the day after his team plays a 22 inning game? Heh?!), then consider your Bingo card completely filled.

Also, credit goes to Arizona's Conor Jackson, who could have batted for the cycle in the fifth inning by casually strolling to second for his double, but he stretched that into his second triple of the night.

It's Always Those Last 12 Runs That Getcha. Kansas City was looking to steal a game in Oakland behind Brian Bannister, but Mr. Staircase Support didn't get a lot of run support. And his 2-1 lead evaporated in the sixth inning behind four Oakland runs. Then the game got all nutty with eight more in the eighth for a 13-2 demolishing of the Royales with cheese. Bobby Crosby had two doubles and a 3-run home run for 5 RBI in all, and Chad Gaudin pitched seven, struck out eight, and allowed just six baserunners.

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say "It's Only April?" The Baltimore Orioles still have a better record than the Yankees. Certainly that'll change once they start playing th.. oh. Baltimore welcomed in N'yawk and then rickrolled them by roughing up Phil Hughes en route to an 8-2 victory. The only guy who knocked in runs for the Yankees was — good thing you didn't place bets on this one — Chad Moeller. Daniel Cabrera was good enough in his start, walking just two batters, far lower than the manager's pre-game target number of 18 walks for the control-stricken hurler.

So, They're Awesome Again, Until Further Beatdowns, Correct? I can't keep track of all these large-margin games for the Tigers. Either they're "in trouble" or "World Series contenders." There can't possibly be any middle ground here. Last night Kenny Rogers found enough magic thumb solvent to stifle the Jays for just four runs over 6 1/3 innings, then prayed that the Tigers brought their wooden bats and not the delicious tubes of cotton candy. Edgar Renteria had a two-run home run and the Tigers lineup had 7 doubles in their 8-4 win over the Toronto Blue Jays. Wooden bats.

Mommy, The Weekday Editors Are Fighting Again. With the Cardinals taking it to the Metaphorically-Sized Giants 11-1 last night, I have to wonder if Will's team beating Rick's team will have any lingering effects once they return to the writing grounds on Monday. I don't want any awkward posts between them. Matt Cain couldn't escape the fourth inning, where Albert Pujols layethed the "run of home" into the stands, and Todd Wellemeyer is now 2-0 after an impressive start against the Giants lineup. Because if you look closely, there a couple of baseball players in that Giants lineup. No, don't go searching for them now. You've got chores to do, young man.