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Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
Miguel Tejada Is Now Houston's Problem
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....
Jamboroo, Week 15: METALLICA WEEK!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn
UPDATE: Poll is now fixed. Sorry about that. Only in this deranged universe of ours could these two human beings compete against each other in anything. One thing they do have in common: Neither has ever thrown an NFL pass....
Discussing "The Agony Of Victory"
We love books. Books are fun. They're so full of booky goodness. And because we don't have time to read and write about every sports book, we've corralled three regular Deadspinners to continue the Deadspin Book Club, discussions of current sports books. (Previously, they did Running The Table.) You...
Just A Few More Weeks Until American Gladiators
Shouted over the PA, we hear directions given to these muscle-bound freaks of nature. The director says things like, "Howl for me, Wolf," and "More posing, Justice" and my personal favorite - "Look menacingly while you stare at your balls" (he was referring to the giant balls that were swinging from...
Last Call For Deadspin Word Of The Year Nominations
Last week we asked for nominations for Deadspin Word of the Year, and you answered the call handsomely. From your herd of suggestions we've culled 55 entries — yes, yes, girls, "Mangino" is in there — and we'd probably like to get it to 70 or so before actual voting commences. So if you were unable ...
When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
No Need to Wait For Heisman Results
Why slog through the pre-packaged Heisman presentation show at 8 pm when you can just check the exit polls? It's not as if you'll wait for your November 3rd newspaper to find out who won the presidential election, you'd just check the exit polls. Fortunately a website out there in the vast internet...
Canadian Football Has Strange Celebrations
Click to view I'm just going to sit back and let the video speak for itself. Sometimes a Saturday afternoon just isn't complete without a video of some schmuck getting hit in the balls with a football. Via College Humor...
Listen Only To Those With Expertise
• Woo-hoo, another ESPN Memo! • Stephen A. Smith is so much more qualified than your stupid bloggers. • John Maine wore a dress, and then made it clear that he didn't. • "You Dead, Dawg," Deadwood-style. • The Football Guys. • Illinois in the Rose Bowl. Yipes. • Denny Green, copyrightin'! • Ashley Y...
Don't Feed Them After Midnight
Give him to us. We'll take him to the kennel, they'll put him to sleep. It will be quick and painless compared to what we would do to him. We'll catch the beast ourselves. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death. Maybe we'll put him in our spin-drier on high heat....
Dennis Green Mocks Himself For Cash
Say what you will about former Buzzsaw "coach" Dennis Green, but you can't say he's not entrepreneurial. He has moved to copyright the phrase "They Are Who We Thought They Were."...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Jamboroo, Week 14: College Overtime? In The NFL? F—k Yeah!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...
Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...
If It's The Beginning Of The Month, It Must Be Varsity Letters Time
Those crazy characters over at Gelf are having another one of their Varsity Letters Reading Series things tomorrow night, and it's a solid, rollicking crew....