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Don't Get Up Until You're Numb
We're gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Philadelphia 76ers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Atlantic Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Deadspin Field Trip: The Rainy (Original) Game 4
As we might have mentioned, we originally had Game 4 tickets, and we sat out in the rain for two hours, freezing, waiting for MLB to put us out of our misery and cancel the game. We had been considering this a dreadful, cursed occurrence, until last night made our Game 4 tickets potential clinchers....
Brady Quinn, Friend To The Gays, Or Just Idol?
In the newest issue of Interview magazine, Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, handsome man of leisure, spreads 'em and smiles big in a big photo feature. Brady looks all playful and chiseled and Notre Dame-y, we guess. You might notice, when you look at the pictures, that Brady is shot rather, oh, ...
The Yearly John Rocker Award
Few baseball fans hate quite as well as fans of the New York Mets. They do it with panache, style, pure vitriol and hard-won experience. Yankees and Red Sox fans are almost too hated themselves to hate with much authority, and other teams' fans are just too nice. (Exception: Phillies fans, whose bli...
They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...
What A Beautiful Night At The Ole Ballpark
You know, we're starting to think maybe we're just not supposed to watch a World Series game. Not that sitting out in two hours in freezing rain waiting for FOX to decide whether or not they wanted to pre-empt "Prison Break" next week wasn't fun, but ......
Just In Case Game 4 Happens, We Should Probably Show Up
Yes. We are risking much wrath from Cardinals fans for actually attending this game; our record is far from impressive. But we are talking about the World Series here, and when you get a chance to go to the World Series, you go. We'll apologize in the morning....
Get Away From Me, Marathoners!
This gentleman is Paul Kapellas, and he lives in Chicago....
Like A Bat Out Of Hell, We'll Be GONE When The Morning Comes!
Because we are a badass road cannon of destruction, we are zooming through the Midwest this week in a silver Chevy Cobalt. (We went to a motocross event in Taylorville, Ill., over the weekend and showed up in this car; this in no way caused us to be mocked, nope.) It's looking incredibly unlikely ...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
Everybody's Getting Naked On The Internet These Days
Taking a cue from the success of Redskins.com last season, the Philadelphia Eagles have been streaming postgame interviews with their players on their official Web site. Considering yesterday's difficult loss, you can find plenty of people with plenty to talk about....
Can You Keep A Secret? We're Trying To Organize A Prison Break
Oh Mr. Harris! Don't touch us! Mr. Bob Harris! Just rip our stocking!...
Notes From The "Underground"
We would like to take a moment to salute commenters Christ Sabo (who first posited the idea) and twoeightnine (for his brilliant, terrifying designs), along with the rest of you — we particularly liked this MDT post — for your mad, breathtaking work on the ESPN Radio "underground" email from yesterd...
"You Down With Brandon Inge?"
We've logged some pretty outstanding fan song remixes, including the rather epic "Sweet Shaun Alexander," which even made deceased members of Lynyrd Skynyrd roll over in their graves, and they're still drunk....
Your Early Round Pants Party Winners
You might remember last week, when Tiger Woods was shaking his Hootie thing around these parts. Well, we promised then that we had five versions of that thar video game to give away to the top five finishers in Pants Party League, and now we're here to pay up....
An Update On Commenting
A while back, we told you about our new commenting system, and how if you were not a registered commenter, you could submit a comment and if it met the standards set by The Commentist Manifesto, you'd be approved and your comments would start showing up....
Week In Deadspin: What The Fungus??!!
• Jeez, lady, just hush already. • It was very sunny in Philadelphia last Sunday. • A tragedy in New York. • Soccer's Buckner. • Maybe the Vikings will spend their off week on a band bus. • Albert Pujols, enjoying the hometown product in a visually disturbing way. • So this is why Brett Favre won'...
We Love Hitmen: No Matter What You Do To Them, You Don't Feel Bad
The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town. We're staring at a goddess. She's telling us she wants us. We're not going to waste one more minute wondering how we've gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman ... the Goddess. Goldie. ...