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Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...
Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Gui...
Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids
We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy....
Arizona Cannot Be Stopped
Brandon Webb didn't have his best performance of the year, but he can thank Augie Ojeda for helping him notch a seventh consecutive win. The Arizona reserve filled in mightily for the injured Orlando Hudson, driving in six of the runs in the 10-4 win over the Mets. Ojeda had three hits, including tw...
About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...
All Hail Kobe... Except for Shaq
I am interrupting your precious Friday night to bring you some breaking news (if you're reading this on your blackberry's rss prepared to not get laid... again). Kobe Bean Bryant has been declared the Most Valuable Player of the National Basketball Association for the first time in his all-encompa...
Braylon Edwards Does Not, In Fact, Blog
• Hey, What'd we miss? Oh, yeah. That. • Oh, and nobody had a better take than Daulerio. • John Daly, shirtless. • Jeff Reed. Two words, so much meaning. • Careful, Coach Weis. • Pat Jordan is a badass. • Roger Clemens should not be allowed around early teens. Nor should Karl Malone, for that matte...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while faithfully observing No Pants Day ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at St. Louis Cardinals (8:05 p.m., ET). Rich Hill (6-foot-5) vs. Adam Wainwright (6-7). That's 13 feet of entertainment right there! [WGN] • NBA playoffs: Eastern Conference first round, Game 6, Boston Celtics at Atlanta H...
Arizona State Cheerleaders Executed For Brazen Half-Nakedness
TheDirty.com is amassing an impressive body count with its daily takedowns of mountain-chested co-eds sitting on the toilet or sweaty athletes in various states of inebriation. Add the Arizona State University cheerleading squad to that list, which has apparently been eliminated after panty-clad p...
Show Us All The Blueprints
If you let him testify at that hearing, the whole world will see what he's become. They should remember him for what he was....
It's Deja Vu In The NBA Playoffs
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Yo, Canadian
Apparently some hopped-up Habs fans thought they would take their trash-talking and intimidation techniques to new heights by desecrating the fabled Rocky statue just before one of the Canadiens and Flyers games. The culprit is this pig-masked individual, who appears to be part of some wacky Canadi...
Emotionally Damaged Crazy Lady Confirms Affair With Clemens
In what seemed like a clumsily orchestrated ambush against former pitcher Roger Clemens after the Daily News' odd "Raj-diddled-a-15-year-old" story yesterday, the woman behind the affair, "troubled" country singer Mindy McCready has held a press conference to say she stands by what the NYDN wrote....
Tart Like A Wheel
On Sunday, Ashley Force, another comely lass who loves all things smelling like motor oil and shaped like spark plugs, became the first woman to ever win the NHRA Funny Car ( fuh-fuh-funny car! funny car!)event. You may remember Force from that reality show "Driving Force" where her and her racing f...
Momma Werth Just Don't Know
The Slanch Report caught Orestes Destrade getting a little distracted during the replay of the Phillies-Brewers contest on Thursday's Baseball Tonight. The objet du distraction: Jayson Werth's mother,....
Message To This Kid's Future Defense Attorney: Blame Name or Haircut
This unfortunate youngster, other than being forced by parental duress to sport the bowl cut, was born unto a couple of deranged Spurs fans. How unhinged, exactly? Instead of buying a team photo or something to encapsulate their love for the team, they decided to put the whole roster into their kid'...
1st Round, Eighteenth Overall: Ravens Select Joe Flacco
Joe Flacco came from a bad neighborhood. Audubon, New Jersey, is rougher than the Little Rock with East St. Louis piled on top of it. Flacco graduated from Audubon High School, which is so rough that there are medal detectors in the faculty lounge, where even the math teachers are pumped up muscle m...
1st Round, Fourth Overall: Raiders Select Darren McFadden
It's time to bring the mood down a little, dim the lights, turn off the laugh track. Think of this as the portion of Comic Relief when Whoopie, Billy, and Robin would drop the shtick and talk seriously about whatever the hell Comic Relief was supposed to benefit....
Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...
Now You See T.O., Now You Don't
• Terrell Owens, vanishing from porn films. • Santonio Holmes is packing some heat. • Butterfingers for a Red Sox fan. • Jeff Passan and Terry Pettis. • Topless ladies (kinda) at Rockies games. • It's Jeff Reed night. • Yankees-Red Sox fight! • As spirited a defense of the NFL Draft as we could imag...