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Sam Bradford Totally Jinxed By NFL Draft Report
"Sources have told us that Sam Bradford, barring an injury in Thursday night’s BCS National Championship, will declare for the NFL Draft." Good luck tomorrow, buddy! [National Football Post]...

New Jersey Senator Demands You T Up Those Cheerleaders
Governing a large state like New Jersey takes a special kind of politician, one with an iron will and mighty intelligence. Nothing can derail his mission ... except 11-year-old cheerleaders!...

Rey Maualuga Apologizes For Impromptu Rumpy-Pump of America's Sideline Princess
"Rey both e-mailed and spoke to Erin and apologized to her. He realized he made a mistake and used poor judgment. He deeply regrets his actions". EA? Mum. [LAT] [via Smackcaster]...

Hey You Kids! Doh!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Terry Bradshaw Under The Influence Of Jay Leno
What did Terry Bradshaw have to drink in the Tonight Show green room last night? On second thought, that's pretty much just standard Bradshaw, isn't it?...

Versus Would Like To See Your "V"
Nobody receives or understands rodeo/hockey channel Versus, but they will quickly solve that problem with the magic of... ugh, "user generated content" and a not very well thought out web campaign....

The Return Of The Powerful Lip Fur, And Milton Bradley Is A Cub (Hide All Sharp Objects)
• No Way This Ends Badly. Cubs, Milton Bradley agree to sane, very thrifty three-year, $30 million deal, pending physical examination. Hopefully will not include psychological testing. [Chicago Tribune]...
![J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f17vy5xtnrhjpg.jpg)
J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere
This proves that J.C. Romero's hyper-excitement on the mound is not something manufactured just for his relief appearances....

Hey, $%&*@!? Hands Off The Sweater Vest, Mack
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Switch Hitter: Burrell Agrees In Principle With Rays
Pat Burrell rips out Daulerio's heart, stomps on it, gives it a mohawk. [ESPN]...

How To Ruin Your Favorite League's All-Star Game
From the moment the NBA, NHL, and even the NFL opened up their 2009 All-Star Game voting to the public, folks have been trying whatever means necessary to screw with the results. Sometimes it even works!...

And A New Philly Slogan Is Born
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bring Me The Third Nipple Of Drew Magary And The New York Football Giants
According to the receipt from last night at Ace Bar, there were 42 Irish car bombs consumed in five hours. The Colts won that game, right?...

Philadelphia at Minnesota: A Playoff Game Of No Importance
No one here really cares about the outcome of this game, but feel free to comment your little hearts out during the 4:00 NFC Wild Card Game....

Be Gentle. It's Their First Time
So that happened. I half expected to log in this morning to see "The Cardz Rulez No. 1!" drunkenly scrawled all over the front page of this site....

Ladainian Tomlinson's Tattered Groin Paves Way For Large Helping Of Darren Sproles
LT's injury: "Detached tendon that connects the muscle to the pubic bone." I wonder if he damaged this punching refrigerators with Kimbo Slice in the offseason? [The Sporting Blog]...

Greetings, Spinheads and Ute-heads
This is going to be a very laid back, no- hassle day spent perusing the internet for sports-related ephemera until the NFL games start. Right now, I'm in NYC at a coffee shop at 13th and B. Please stop by and say hello if you're in the area....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

The Battle of Big Daddy Balls
One of my favorite parts of any playoff season is when the mayors of the opposing cities playing make silly food-related bets on the game's outcome....

For Once The Spanish Are Blameless
OK, it's England and everything, but this headline has to be offensive even over there. This is no way to talk about Rinku and Dinesh! [The Times]...