ad Page 1646 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Well, We Suppose This Ruins Pitino's Master Plan
Yes, friends, it is a sad day in Celtics land. (It's a sad day in Grizzlies land too, but nobody cares about the Grizzlies.) All the hopes and dreams of Bill Simmons — who should have plenty to write about over the next five years — and those Golden Tee-playing Boston fans went up in a poof of lotte...

Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...

Live Blogging The Recitation Of Team Names
It's rare that the landscape of the NBA can change so dramatically in one night, but tonight it definitely one of those nights. Fittingly, it has nothing to do with an increasingly meandering playoffs....

How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...

Time For The Drama Of Postage Being Opened
Tonight's the NBA Draft Lottery, which, if you've watched the last half of the season, you know is the most important night of the past 365 days for half the teams in the league. Which is depressing, but whatever....

AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....

This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...

You're 32 Years Old, And You've Achieved Nothing. Jesus Christ Was Dead And Alive Again By 33. You Better Get Crackin'.
Think of it as a hobby. Something you do to relax. You're an "assassination enthusiast."...

Interleague Play Is Back, If Anybody Notices Anymore
We've never had a major problem with interleague play. It's possible this is because our Cardinals get to play the Royals six times a year — and boy could we use the help — but mostly, it's because the game has been so twisted and pretzeled over the last decade that, hey, what's one more switch? Peo...

Naked People Are Funny
Nothing beats a good streaker, kids, particularly when it's a Philadelphia streaker. And we're not particularly envious of that usher either....

That's Not How Personal Training Typically Works
The Arena Football League is full of happy success stories. Kurt Warner. That weird video game that's oddly fun to play. Jon Bon Jovi. And now, to add to the list, the high school coaching adventures of Tom Porras, a former AFL quarterback. He was fired last week as track coach (and "personal traine...

About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....

Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....

The New (Old) Mind Behind US Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Big Unit Is Back In Stock! (Please Allow 14 Business Days For Shipping)
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, ESPN2. IndyCar Racing. Indianapolis 500 Time Trials. 12:00, ESPNU. College Lacrosse. Georgetown vs. Princeton. 1:00, ESPN Classic. American Gladiators. 7 consecutive episodes. 1:30, TBS. MLB. Atlanta Braves @ Pittsburgh Pirates. 2:00, NBC. PGA Golf. The Players Championship, Final Round. 2:00...

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, Fox Soccer. Women's Soccer. Canada vs. United States. You're in trouble, Canada. We have Beckham now. • 8:00, VS. NHL Playoffs. Ottawa Senators @ Buffalo Sabres. There's all kinds of Canadian pride on the line tonight. • 8:30, ABC. NBA Playoffs. Phoenix Suns @ San Antonio Spurs. Hopefully, A...

Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...

A Tribute To All The Sports Moms Out There
As we remind you to grab your cards and flowers for Mother's Day on Sunday — we are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to be in Mattoon this Mother's Day — we thought we might take a moment and remember some of the special mothers in the world of sport....