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Roy Williams Will Scribble Near Your Naughty Bits
Should Roy Williams be enjoying himself this much, considering how completely he screwed up your office pool brackets? Well, at least he's not trying to make money off of the back of the young lady, like someone we know....
Jake Peavy Doesn't Have Hand
Before we get to Sunday's action, here's what they're saying about the Jake Peavy spitball controversy from over the weekend ......
When Internet Browsers Devour Amazing Prose About Rick Reilly
Oh my sweet God. I had a really, really poignant article about Rick Reilly, the movie Leatherheads, and more thoughts on his comments about bloggers. Then of course, Firefox just had to crash at that very moment in history....
Jake Peavy Packed Kenny Rogers' Hand Cream By Mistake
Earlier we told you of Jake Peavy's masterful one-run complete game win over the Los Angeles Dodgers. A reader sent in these "shots of the screen" indicting a smudginess of the index and middle fingers, and possibly the thumb....
Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty
• Opening Day! • President Bush would have been a better commissioner. • Look: Daulerio works here now. • Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice. • Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself. • We miss Davidson already. • Stuart Scott on the microphone. • Joel Zumaya, bringing rock. • Larry King really, ...
Posing As An Unknown ESPN Analyst Not The Way To Score Teens
That man to your right is ESPN college basketball analyst Mark Adams. Some of you may recognize him; most of you may not. That still didn't stop a 48-year-old New Jersey man from posing as Mark Adams in a failed attempt to shack up with a teenage girl....
The Best $187 Million Ever Spent
As Isiah Thomas and the Knicks attempt to finish up their disastrous season and wait to find out what new GM Donnie Walsh will do to rejuvenate the team, it'd probably be a good idea to make sure he doesn't read this Portfolio.com article on how much Isiah has cost the Knicks. The magazine estimates...
The Usual Dash Of Dollar Dog Night Bacchanalia
Wednesday night at the Philadelphia Phillies Citizens Bank Park marked opening night and its first official "Dollar Dog NIght" promotion, which culminated in a Phillies 1-0 loss and, as usual, another mesmerizing display of shit-faced chaos courtesy of the revved-up monkeys. Ever since the Phillies...
We Cannot Defend Freedom Abroad By Deserting It At Home
There's no news, boys, so go out there and make some news. Rob a bank, mug an old lady, whatever - just do something....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Jason Smith Might Be A Little Itchy
According to ex-adult entertainer Mary Carey, Sixers rookie big man Jason Smith was the victim of her spider-monkey-esque make-out session on Monday night. Smith, the Sixers 20th pick in the 2007 draft, has provided playoff-bound Sixers some additional big-man depth off the bench this season but, ac...
Brian Kenny's Media Approval Rating Went Up A Little Bit
"That's it," Chad said, which startled Kenny. He then attempted a follow-up question which also went nowhere. Again, Kenny tries to sign-off gracefully and, again, Chad doesn't go away....
The Sixers Are Good Now, So Mary Carey Shall Climb Them
How about those Sixers? it was only a few short months ago that the team was in a completely understandable death spiral, thought to be rebuilding, being encouraged to dump its expensive players to stock up for the future. And now? Well, the Sixers are on the cusp of miraculously making the playoffs...
She Has Yadier's Ass and Bengie's Hips
Are you a moderately attractive female baseball fan who loves her pink jersey, but dreams of a newer, sluttier look for your drunken summer afternoons in the bleachers? If so, then you should probably send me pictures of yourself in various stages of undress take note of Joe Sports Fan's rather bod...
Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...
Hugh Douglas Wants To Kill Me
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Cowboys' New Exxon Field Sounds Slick
Fanhouse highlights a Dallas Morning News report that the Cowboys could get as much as $20 million a year for the naming rights for the new stadium the team will move into in 2009. Though conspicuously missing usual JJ shills like Papa Johns and Pepsi, the clubhouse leaders are the more non-junk fo...