ad Page 1647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Boris Mironov fails to outwit moose and squirrel ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Detroit at Chicago, Game 3. Bulls were just waiting for the right moment to pounce. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Ottawa at Buffalo, Game 1. We should, like, buy a case of Labatt Bl...

Please Keep Six Feet Between You And The Cavs Dancers
Currently, in the Ohio (of course) legislature, there's a bill attempting to define what constitutes a strip club and how they should be governed (for example, they're considering not allowing dancers to perform after midnight and instituting a six-foot buffer between dancer and patron). But yesterd...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you're feeling extra religious ... • NBA: Conference semifinals, New Jersey at Cleveland, Game 2; San Antonio at Phoenix, Game 2. Oh, come on and watch; sleep is overrated. [TNT] • MLB: Rangers at Yankees. Let's talk about Clemens some more! [YES Network] • ISKA kickboxing. Real m...

Kevin Kolb Will Cut You
For this still wondering why the Eagles used their first draft choice on a quarterback, this might shed some light on the situation: Kevin Kolb really loves stabbing and gutting wild pigs....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....

The Sad Tale Of Tracy McGrady
We were pleased to see former Illini Deron Williams and Dee Brown advance to the Western Conference semifinals with the Jazz's win over the Rockets on Saturday night, but it brought us no joy to see the likable and seemingly doomed Tracy McGrady fail once again to push his team out of the first roun...

The Houston Rockets Are Buried In Sadness
Tracy McGrady assumed full responsibility for the outcome before Houston's series against Utah, then went out in Game 7 and did the Yeoman's work and still came up short. Then, in the postgame press conference, he couldn't run from the responsibility and ended up walking away in tears (thanks to The...

Bad Sign for Brady Quinn: He's Taking Joe Theismann Seriously
Brady Quinn's dreams had just been peed on for 4½ straight hours before finding out he was going to be spending his career in the high-fashion mecca of Cleveland ... I thought we could all forgive him if he looked a bit disheveled. Joe Theismann could not....

If This Continues, Darin Erstad Might Want to Grab a Helmet
Catching a fly ball against the backdrop of dozens of retina-searing white lights can't be easy. Every now and then, you're going to lose one ... and in such instances, you're going to stand there and look like a chump. It happens to the best of them. But that doesn't make it less amusing....

We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...

We Shall Disappear Like A Nightmare Before The Breaking Day
We're everyone ... and no one. Everywhere .. nowhere. Call us ... Deadspin....

Look, There Was Another Game On Thursday Night
Lest we forget, in all the Warriors hub-bub, that another series took a fun turn last night, with the Jazz tying the Rockets 3-3 with a 94-82 win in Utah. The key Jazz star was Andrei Kirilenko, who shined late despite, you know, crying like a little girl earlier this series because he wasn't gettin...

Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...

Brady Quinn Is Making Friends
We're not sure what's going on with this photo, which appears to be of the newest Cleveland Brown Brady Quinn — sans more hair and gallons of pomade — and, frankly, we don't want to....

Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...

Tracy McGrady Lets His Boys Breathe
If you ever wondered how Tracy McGrady would do in a sheep-tossing contest, this new commercial for some Vitamin Water thing finally provides you with an answer. It's not every day you see an NBA superstar in a kilt....

Viva Los Gatos De Bob!
A reader — who said the "mosh pit" in which he was residing involved a considerable amount of passing it around — attending the Coachella Music Festival on Sunday took this photo of Adam Morrison during the Rage Against The Machine show. That really is a Che Guevara flag wrapped around his neck. We ...

Tracy McGrady Has His Alpha Dog Night
In the last three days, Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard and, uh, Antawn Jamison have been swept out of the playoffs, and Kobe Bryant, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson don't seem too far behind. (And don't get us started on Dirk.) The superstars are off to slow playoff starts, so it's encoura...
