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The Closer: The Day The Bats Stood Still
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Team USA Rolls Lithuania
After a narrow 90-86 escape over Brazil, Team USA got back into their winning habits, cruising to a 111-88 win over Lithuania. Seven USA players scored in double-digits: Caremlo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Kirk Hinrich, Antawn Jamison, and Chris Paul. Lithuanian center Ksistof Lavrinovicius d...
T-Rac Is Probably Not Going To The Pro Bowl This Year
You wouldn't think that the responsibilities of a mascot would be too difficult to handle. Be nice to kids, jump around like an idiot when the home team scores, clutch your chest and act like you're dying when the away team scores, and throw out some cheap-ass team merchandize to fans who will act...
Week In Deadspin: Farney Is Everywhere
• So hello to Ryan Freel's little friend! • We had some fun with Arash Markazi, but it was the dulcet tones of Scott Van Pelt that really won us over. • Yeah, see, things just aren't going well for Mo Clarett. (We can call him "Mo," 'cause we're pals.) • The NFL has a new dude in charge. Nice hair...
That's The Truth, Ruth
Let us tell you the story of "Right Hand, Left Hand." It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: It was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: These five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: Static. One hand is always fighting ...
Madden Player Ratings Are Out, If You're Into That Type Of Thing
We are just 11 days away from the release of Madden 07, and the fine folks at IGN, for the real diehards out there, have released the rosters and player ratings of everyone in the game. Looking at our Buzzsaw, we see, as usual, two of the three best players are the kicker and the punter....
Franken Friar Is Alive!
Apparently, during their last homestand, the San Diego Padres introduced a new mascot called, inexplicably, "Franken Friar." He's an oversized Friar who dances and flops around and was, uh, brought back from the dead? We're a little confused about that part, actually....
Well, That Answers That Question, Definitively
Remember that idiot who jumped onto the netting behind home plate at Yankee Stadium a year ago, hanging up there and looking like a scared, brittle foal?...
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...
And Just Like That, The NFL Returns
Hey, everybody, there was football yesterday!...
Real Pro Football Back on NBC
The Eagles play the Raiders tonight, which may be of some interest to fans in Oakland, Philadelphia, and various penitentiaries throughout the nation. But, since preseason football is mostly boring, the debut of interest tonight is that of the NFL on NBC crew....
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, That Was Funny
I was fortunate enough to see Talladega Nights yesterday, and I'm damn sure not going to wait until the DVD comes out to see it again. It did not only tickle my funnybone, it made sweet love to it. I'm just itching to quote the movie here, but I think I should probably wait until the DVD comes out t...
I Didn't Know That Baseball's Unwritten Rules Mentioned The Holocaust
There are people who love sports talk radio, and there are people who hate it. The following clip, from the always worthwhile Fire Joe Morgan will likely thrill both sides....
Week In Deadspin: We Miss The Chorizo Already
• You bring us the chorizo, and then you take it away. Do not tease us with your chorizo. • Whither the white wide receiver. • Interesting strategy to sell video games. • Mike Tirico would rather you not bring this up again. • Here is what is inside Bobby Abreu's head. • Smell Jeter! • If Simmons ...
Booyakasha!
America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field, and then have a party....
Greg Maddux, Wise Man In The Clubhouse
Earlier, we talked about new Dodgers pitcher Greg Maddux's pretty debut for Los Angeles, tossing a no-hitter for six innings and generally showing why it's always a pleasure to have a Greg Maddux on your team....
The Uniforms That Made Baseball Cry
It was Retro Day at Petco Park on Thursday, which probably doesn't mean much to you if you weren't a baseball fan in the 1970s. But for those who lived through those dark, confusing times, you have our sympathy, and we're sorry you had to relive the horror. We've all seen pictures such as the ones...
The Closer: Maddux Throws Himself A Housewarming Party
Notes from a day in baseball:...