adequate-man Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Keep The Family Together On A Long Distance Move
People are meant to move. We’ve been doing it for tens of thousands of years. Chasing mammoths across the tundra, chasing shiny pebbles down frigid mountain streams, chasing native people out of their homelands. Somewhere in all that traveling we learned to grow plants in rows and gather cattle into...
Sweat Shorts Are The Best Fashion Trend Of My Lifetime<em></em>
It is socially acceptable to dress like a slob now. The rise of athleisure—an incredible trend that has made it OK to wear yoga pants to the bar—has helped trend American fashion to the slouchy and the comfortable. Kanye West sells sweatshirts for hundreds of dollars. New York magazine says “Champio...
I'm Already Old, And It's Glorious
You’re pooping right now, reading this. Probably constipated. Or you’re in the back of an Uber, stuck in traffic. You’re half-listening to a conference call. You’re watching the refs watch a replay, watching our democracy crumble, watching the subway doors close in some dude’s face. All the while, t...
I Like My Things
America, our possessions are ruining us. Even as you read these words, container ships are churning through the waters of the Pacific, carrying the candle holders and tea strainers and duvet covers and coffee tables that will appear in front of you in Target, flooding your brain with dopamine, rewar...
The Best Runners To Coach Are Middle Schoolers<em></em>
What I do at the middle school is generously called cross country coaching. To the untrained eye, our program looks a lot like goofing around, like BS, like a waste of time. I’m pretty lucky to be able to pull this off....
Learn The Dutch Reach And You May Save A Bicyclist's Life
A bicycle has been my primary mode of transportation for the last six years, ever since my car was scrapped after the engine blew up at 3 a.m. near the conclusion of a 2,000 mile road trip, but not before the world’s least discerning car thieves stole it from the parking lot of the auto repair shop ...
How To Measure Your Kid's Dick
Don’t. What the fuck is wrong with you?...
The Case For Violent Imagery
Before I could read, I was mesmerized by the pictures. I would flip through pages of magazines and newspapers that were sprawled across the coffee table in my parents’ living room. They were crumpled, old editions of the Atlantic, the Boston Globe, the Daily News of Newburyport, and the like. In my ...
Man Achieves Adequacy
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and surprise-interviewed him about this historic achievement. ...
How To Make A Kick-Ass Sazerac
I’ve never been to New Orleans and don’t know nearly as much as I should about its culture, but I do know Mardi Gras is upon us, and I know that’s good news. Again, not entirely certain what this festival entails—I gather it’s some kind of voodoo St. Patrick’s Day with better-looking celebrants and ...
Is Refusing A Breathalyzer Test Ever Smart?
Welcome to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Keep in mind that this is general information, and not formal legal advice or legal representation; if you need any of that, you should get it from a lawye...
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
My Dad's Terrible Child-Care Activities, Ranked
School is out. What the hell are we going to do with these kids? Camps cost a fortune. Sports leagues are a pain in the ass. And who wants to stare at another listless, self-aware gorilla at the zoo? What a downer!...
Oh God, What Is Croup, Does My Kid Have It, Oh God Oh God Oh God
Parenting a small child means, of course, doubling the number of people whose well being is your responsibility. This can be difficult, for a Wearer Of A Garbage Bag Because You Forgot To Buy Laundry Soap For The 27th Consecutive Week—for someone who has arrived, mostly by accident, deep in the swam...
How To Set Off Fireworks Without Blowing Yourself Up
Cue up the John Philip Sousa, fire up the grill, and put the American flag on every surface. It’s almost the Fourth of July, so you may be feeling a lot of strong impulses, like the one to set off a bunch of explosives in your own backyard. Go forth, but don’t send yourself to the hospital. That wou...
How To Be A Good Person On An Airplane
Things are getting bleak in the skies. See this article in the New York Times about swapping seats on a flight:...
Let's Make Some Kick-Ass Sangria!
Sangria is like summer itself: always good, but rarely as great as it could be. Due to their respective built-in advantages of cold, fruity alcohol and relative proximity to the sun, sangria and summer are tough to fuck up. But these same inherent strengths can lull us into a laziness that prevents ...
How To Kick Ass At Karaoke
Karaoke! It’s fun, it’s social, it’s a great way to show off your total mastery of the lyrics to “International Players’ Anthem.” But what if you’re the type of person who wants to sing, but doesn’t necessarily know where to start? It’s easier than you might think....
How To Steal Food From Craft Services
Today, I ate lunch on Netflix’s dime. It was okay. ...
When, Who, And How To Tip
The short answer to “when?” is “always.” The short answer to “who?” is “pretty much everyone.” The short answer to “how?” is “well.” Tipping should be the rule, not the exception. But there are always nuances....