ads Page 285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If The Lockout Persists, Kobe Bryant Has a Highlight Reel That Might Interest The LA Galaxy
Your morning roundup for Aug. 1, the day we learned what booze is doing to Britain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Behold: This Skymall Ad Is The Only Thing That Still Believes In Jeff Francoeur
Your morning roundup for July 31, the day we realized we would never eat again. See anything that might interest us? Email the tips line. Skymall ad via Alan....

Yes, Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Still Registered For A Few Things At Crate & Barrel
Prior to the recent love-on-the-rocks update that Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and reality someone-or-other Kristin Cavallari chose not to become man and wife after all, friends and well-wishers pretty much hit everything the couple asked for on their Crate & Barrel registry....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Life, Death, And Sex On Skis
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. With things sweltering outside, we went looking for stories that might remind us of what it feels like to be cold. We found these instead....

Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

All Of This MLB Trade Deadline And NFL Free Agency Talk Is Really Getting Confusing
Your morning roundup for July 29, the day we got kicked out of Wal-Mart for wearing a string bikini. Photo via @JeffDLowe. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....

Hurry! Andy Reid Is Trying To Get Away!
Your morning roundup for July 28, the day we kept getting hit with popcorn while trying to talk. Photo via @Jeff_McLane. H/T to Michael for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting A School-Kid Reenactment Of The Saddest Scene In Movie History
As you may have already heard, that scene in "The Champ" when T.J. (young Ricky Schroder) weeps over his father (Jon Voight) Billy's body after a boxing match turned fatal is the scientifically proven saddest movie scene ever....

In The War Between An Angry Ginger And Aspiring Ultimate Fighter, The Ginger Won With A Kill-Shot
The St. Petersburg Times's "Man accused of beating to death aspiring 'ultimate fighter' at Zephyrhills party" headline comes nowhere near telling the whole story of Samuel Smith's death (allegedly) at the ruddy hands of Richard Starks Jr....

24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...

We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....

Reach For That Rally In Your Pants
Your morning roundup for July 27, the day our perfect game was interrupted by rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. Photo via @Overthebaggy....

Dog Feces Vs. Human Feces: WHO YA GOT?!
I was at the gym earlier today and I was in the shower. The shower at the gym has an opaque glass door, but the door only goes up to my neck, so anyone in the locker room can see my big fat alien head while I'm showering. Anyway, I'm standing there washing off, nothing malevolent. And for some reaso...

R.A. Dickey Totally Just Almost Ate His Boogers
Your morning roundup for July 26, the day we woke up alive after a night in a morgue. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

You Know, Baseball Really Needs To Do More To Protect Its Umpires
Your morning roundup for July 25, the day we learned of the Russians' plans to invade a beach in Brooklyn. H/T to Dave Littlefield for the video, though we kinda wish it had been from the real Dave Littlefield. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Don't Dream It's Over: Disney Permanently Cancels ESPN: The Weekend
Last week, we mentioned, barely suppressing our glee, that ESPYs ratings had hit their lowest point in 16 years. With similar exuberance, we gave you ESPN's condom-obsessed in-house standards bible. Death knells....

The Heat Has Driven Michael Kay And Paul O'Neill Mad
Your morning roundup for July 24, the day our tears dried on their own. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors. Image via @godzillatimmy2....