ale Page 215 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Non-English Team Wins English Cup
Today, Welsh soccer club Swansea City beat down Bradford City 5-0 to take home the Football League Cup, a biggish, semi-relevant tournament held in England every year....

Alex Rodriguez's True Yankee-Hood Up For Sale Monday Morning
Alex Rodriguez's 2009 World Series ring will go up for auction tomorrow morning with an initial price tag of $5,000, though Rodriguez is not selling it. Rather, his steroid-mule cousin, Yuri Sucart, sold the ring to an auctioneer for $5,000 and some think the ring could fetch as much as $40,000....

When JaVale McGee Was 18, He Wore A Grill Made Of Aluminum Foil
First off, JaVale looks about 13 here. But he was 18, according to J-Mac himself when he posted the photo to his Instagram yesterday (throwback Thursday!). He was either about to start college, or was already Nevada's starting center. A little too old (and recent—just seven years ago) to be living t...

Luis Suárez's Free-Kick Goal To Put Liverpool Up 3-1 Was Absolutely World Class
Look, Luis Suárez is kind of a dick. He was banned for racism, he's a notorious diver, and he's arrogant....

Inconsequential Rapper Confronts Inconsequential Basketball Team's Play-By-Play Announcer
On a scale of one to Lil-Wayne-claiming-to-have-humped-Chris-Bosh's-wife, this particular hip-hop/NBA beef rates at about a two. The Toronto Raptors played the Washington Wizards last night, and D.C. rapper Wale was sitting courtside. After watching Raptors forward Rudy Gay hit a three-pointer and ...

Dale Murphy Once Got A Lame Autograph From Richard Nixon
Yesterday, former Atlanta Braves star and beloved-by-the-internet old dude Dale Murphy decided to celebrate President's Day by showing his Twitter followers a picture of one of his prized pieces of memorabilia: a baseball with Richard Nixon's autograph on it. The autograph reads, "To Dale Murphy, f...

Oscar Pistorius Won Male Track And Field Athlete Of The Year Award While In Police Custody
On Saturday the South African athletic association Athletics Gauteng North held its annual awards ceremony in the Manhattan Hotel in Pretoria. The event is described as "undoubtedly a highlight on the calendars of South Africa's top athletes."...

Hulk Remains Our Soccer Hero
We've never shied away from naming Hulk our favorite international footballer, and with good reason: the dude launches rockets off his foot that are a far bigger threat than anything North Korea could stick together with Silly Putty. (Ex.) The Brazilian striker was back at his old tricks yesterday ...

The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...

Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Originally published Feb. 14, 2011....

Will Eating Decades-Old Athlete Candy Bars Kill You? A Taste Test
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."...

Javale McGee Throws Down Three-Quarter-Court Alley-Oop
Is it a dunk? Is it just a really emphatic layup? It doesn't matter. It's Javale and that's all that ever matters....

Leonard Cooper, <em>Jeopardy</em> Folk Hero, Still Could Have Lost When He Wrote "I Just Won $75,000"
Everyone is rightly lauding Leonard Cooper, the winner of the Jeopardy Teen Tournament, as America's coolest high schooler. When Final Jeopardy came around, Leonard didn't know the answer. So he wrote something much better. He wrote,...

Valentine's Day Special: The Movie Couples That Don't Belong Together
We've never quite understood the appeal of going to movies for Valentine's Day. Movie-watching is, after all, a solitary activity in which a person sits in the dark staring straight ahead in silence for two hours. But people do it anyway. Perhaps that's because romance is the central activity of rou...

<em>National Enquirer</em>: O.J. "Daddy Juice" Simpson Has Gotten Very Gay In Prison
Let's start with the opening paragraph of the National Enquirer's "WORLD EXCLUSIVE" report:...

Dick Vitale Apparently Walked Into A Glass Door Before Last Night's Broadcast
From the tip box: "Usher at Michigan-Ohio State basketball texted me that she saw Dick Vitale walk face first into a glass door right before the game. All by-standers thought he was concussed. He has had black eyes slowly forming throughout the broadcast and has been mis-pronouncing player names mor...

Arkansas Recruit Can't Commit Because His Mother Ran Off With His Letter Of Intent
Alex Collins, one of the top RB prospects in the nation, was going to Arkansas. He said as much Monday night, making as official an announcement as one can make before National Signing Day. Well, today's signing day, and Collins was not in attendance at the ceremony—a placard with his name was set u...

Jalen Rose Partied In Bloomington And Shared His Thoughts On Jordan's Flu Game, Reggie Miller's Ex-Wife, And ESPN's Drug Testing
On Saturday ESPN analyst Jalen Rose was in Bloomington for College GameDay, ahead of No. 3 Indiana beating No. 1 Michigan. On Sunday, he was in New Orleans for the network's Super Bowl festivities. In between he washed away his sorrows at watering hole Kilroy's Sports, as well as at some random dude...

Pro Football Hall Of Fame Calls Up Sapp, Parcells, Ogden, Allen and Carter
The NFL's next Hall of Fame class, just announced, has a few dudes the TV made famous. There's Bill Parcells, who made a coaching career of winning two Super Bowls with the Giants and then convincing other teams believe he might ever do it again; Cris* Carter, who just proved that even Jerry Rice Li...

If This Play Is Any Indication, We Should All Start Watching Rugby
Rugby isn't just ruptured testicles (though we'd probably pay more attention to it if it was): It's a game of heart, toughness, crafty play under pressure and occasional improvisational brilliance. This, a score by Ireland in its match against Wales earlier today, is the best rugby play we have ev...