ale Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Johnson Clogs Buster Olney's Bases
Ken Rosenthal thinks the Red Sox will go Gonzo and that Matt Holliday might consider signing with the Orioles because of God. Buster Olney calls Nick Johnson a "base-clogger," which makes me sad. Read on. HOT FUCKING STOVE....

<em>New York Times</em> Gets A Piece Of The Tiger Action With Its Hysterical PED Story
Tony Galea was arrested in October after a pack of Mounties found HGH and something called Actovegin in his medical bag. Neither, so far as science knows, is a performance-enhancing drug, but people have decided to lose their minds anyway....

Chris Henry Passes Away
ESPN, AP, and others are now reporting that Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died around 6:30 this morning from injuries suffered in a car accident. More soon.......

Tiger's Latest Mistress: A Doping Scandal
Because Tiger Woods doesn't have enough problems right now, being embroiled in a drug investigation should liven things up a bit. At least he should be used to the innuendo, speculation, and snickering taunts by now....

A-Rod Loses His Golden Muse
A stunning report from the bowels of the gossip arena on a Tiger Woods break: Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson have apparently broken up. No golf clubs were swung, no hydrants were run over, according to reports so far....

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
In March, A-Rod seemed like a sure bet to be a SHOTY nominee. Yes, here he is ... but the journey to this point was a circuitous one....

Iverson Not Going To Sleep On The Streets Of Philly, At Least
Here's one less hurdle for AI-back-to-the-Sixers: his house is still for sale, three years after he was traded (though at half the original asking price). Similarly precipitous, his own drop in value. [The700Level]...

Oh, How Innocent Tiger Woods And His Brood Of Swedecaublasians Were Just A Short Time Ago
Via golf blogging impresario Geoff Shackelford from Tiger's fan page, where the previously Teflon superstar said this: "I think we've avoided a lot of media attention because we're kind of boring." Boredom quelled....

Tiger Woods "Accident" Story Just Gets More Preposterous By The Hour
The AP chimes in with this update: "A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car." TMZ? More logical....

Sissies, Drunk Yoga And The Last Pure Football Game: A Dispatch From Harvard-Yale
Deadspin correspondent Craig Fehrman went to the 126th edition of Harvard-Yale, where he confronted both the overwrought mythology of The Game and the overexposure of at least one penis....

The Haughty Drunken Excess That Is Harvard-Yale In Pictures
Each year during "The Game" (which most tailgaters do not even pay attention to) the blue bloods invade the yard and show off their finest Ivy League elbow-bending techniques. It's like a beer-sopped L.L. Bean catalog come to life....

And Down Go Some More Yalies
This unfortunate individual was given the perp-walk treatment during the snooty drunkfest known as Yale/Harvard this past Saturday. I'm sure there are far more entertaining photos (like this!) available from this event, so please send them along....

Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....

2012: Why See The Movie If You Already Know What's Coming
Yes, everyone's favorite lizard conversationalist, Darren Daulton, has a website to promote his metaphysics "starter kit" so everyone can be prepared for falling buildings, tidal waves, and John Cusack's erratic piloting. [Dutch2012.com]...

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

Tells Us Something We Don't Know, Anonymous Sign Maker
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...

Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend (Again)
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by pretty much just owning these playoffs. He's like some amazing mythical creature!...

A-Rod News From The 'You Can't Make This Stuff Up' Department...
Like I do every day, when I want a dose of hard-hitting sports news, I turn to US Weekly. The periodical has not one but two bits of information regarding our heroic, purple-lipped, World Series-strikeout machine....