ale Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One Female Deadspin Reader Is Still Willing To Have Sex With You If You Join The Facebook Group
One of our lone, lovely female fans is making the most of all the new imaginary friends she's acquired since joining the Deadspin Facebook page. But she needs more options. Help her build a life....

$5 Yard Sale Find Turns Out To Be Floyd Landis Custom Bike
Once prized, the bike was discarded on the side of the road, and thought to be worthless. Much like Landis himself....

Mark Cuban Says He Would've Watched Rangers Games From The Bleachers
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Cuuuubes! Mavericks owner Mark Cuban....

Cal Second-String Wide Receiver Is Third-Rate Rapper
For senior Alex "Loggy" Lagemann, the upcoming football season couldn't have come at a worse time: the addition of practices, study halls, and games to his schedule will only take valuable time away from his true passion: making awful, awful rap music....

Nationals Pitcher Shaves Mustache, Gains Ability To Pitch
Collin Balester was having trouble. He had a great mustache, but he wasn't pitching well at all. He had beaned Rickie Weeks and Mark Reynolds in the head. He needed to make a radical change. The mustache, unfortunately, would have to go....

Only Peyton Could Make A Badass Visor Look Goofy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LeBron James Is Going To Fix The South Florida Housing Market
Today's newest LeBron news: he's going to fix the housing market in the Miami area because so many people want to be nearer to his effervescence, witness spectacular basketball, and jump on and off the bandwagon as close to home as possible....

I Don't Care About Alex Rodriguez's 600th Home Run
As a Yankees fan, people have been asking me for the past few weeks what I thought about A-Rod's chase for 600. Okay, nobody's asked me that. But my girlfriend did ask if 600 is a lot. Yeah, I suppose it is....

"Those Guys Have All The Fun," Will Make Many "Fun" ESPN Employees Crap Their Pants
There's a creeping paranoia in Bristol thanks to the upcoming 2011 release of Jim Miller's and Tom Shales's massive oral history of ESPN. What filthy skeletons will reveal themselves? Even ESPN execs will have to wait....

LBJ's South Beach Recession: 30 Jobs Lost
Back when the Three Kings were the rejuvenating rage, Miami Heat spokeswoman Lorrie-Ann Diaz said, "We couldn't get [the ticket-sales staff] to go home!'' Until Friday. When 30 of them were laid-off since there were no tickets left to sell....

ESPN Anchor Commits Gaffe. Oh, And He Calls Citi Field "Shitty Field," Too.
Following a look-in to whatever it is that A-Rod was doing, Anish Shroff flubbed sending it back to the announcers at the Mets game, saying, "Let's get you back out to Shitty Field as the Mets threaten [sic] the 8th." How embarrassing!...

Painting of Tiger Woods Vomiting
If you're a puke-play enthusiast/fetishist, you've probably already started panhandling for the $80 necessary to purchase this gem out of West Oakland....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....

Andy Richter Keeps An Eye On Jennie Finch's Backstop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ex-Seton Hall Coach Arrested For Shoplifting A Murse
Much-maligned Bobby Gonzalez was nabbed at the Short Hills Mall after walking out of the Ralph Lauren store with a $1400 "men's satchel." He's expected to plead "I didn't want anyone to know I was buying one." [Star-Ledger]...

In The 209, They Make Commemorative T-Shirts!
Yes, the A's are selling "Get Off My Mound" t-shirts. They were a big hit in the visiting locker room last night among the Yankees, but Dallas Braden his own self isn't too pleased....

Sir, Please Don't Jam Your Girlfriend's Head In Your Lap While CC Is In His Wind-Up
Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today's Ridiculous Sex Rumor That Explains England's World Cup Collapse
Did you hear? The English soccer team did not do so well at the World Cup. Want to know why? A locker room divided over a teammate's extramarital affair, of course. Stop me if you've heard this one....

Jennifer Capriati's Porn Star Ex Still Working On Sound Bite (UPDATE)
Did you know recently hospitalized former tennis star Jennifer Capriati once dated an adult film star named Dale DaBone? Yeah, me neither. He recently spilled personal details about their break-up, but now he's clammed-up after her latest incident....

Here's The Lego Version Of USA-Ghana You've Been Dreading
Relive the pain and the feelings of national indignity with this Lego version of Saturday's defeat. All that's missing? Little Lego beer bottles being thrown across little Lego living rooms in a little Lego version of America. [Lego Fussball]...