america Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Enjoy 84 Seconds Of The <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Broadcast Team Losing Their Shit
The old institutions slouch and rot and tip towards collapse; the culture turns inward, agoraphobic and sleepless and helplessly in thrall to rancid idle fantasies of violence or narcotic visions of capitulation and release; the people in charge loot and lie and then go blank and soft before the ima...
<i>The Atlantic </i>Fires Opinion Writer For Opinions He Held When They Hired Him To Write His Opinions For <i>The Atlantic</i>
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?...
Native American Lacrosse Teams Reported Racial Abuse. Then Their League Expelled Them.<em></em>
Lacrosse was played by Native American nations across North America long before it was colonized by Europeans. But despite Native people’s historical and cultural connection to the game, they were periodically banned from playing before the 1973 American Indian Religious Freedom Act restored Native...
Miguel Herrera Says Toronto Cops Assaulted His Players At Halftime<em></em>
Club América coach Miguel Herrera claimed that Toronto police assaulted his players—goalkeeper Agustín Marchesín and defender Bruno Valdez, along with assistant coach Giber Becerra—during halftime of the team’s 3-1 CONCACAF Champions League semifinal loss to Toronto FC tonight. Toronto coach Greg Va...
Why Is Charlie Ebersol Launching A Direct Rival To His Buddy Vince McMahon's XFL?
The most delightfully stupid sports story of 2018 is still extremely stupid, but it just got a lot more complicated. Vince McMahon’s nascent MAGA-adjacent XFL revival was first reported back in December, formally announced in January, and seemingly set for a February 2020 launch. It now has to deal ...
Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi Take
You probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in t...
For Kelvin Sampson And North Carolina's Native Americans, The Fight Never Ends<em></em>
Kelvin Sampson has been in the basketball business for some time, and if you pay attention to the game his name will ring some bells. Maybe you remember him coaching Washington State, or Oklahoma, or Indiana; maybe you saw him looming over a huddle as a NBA assistant. Given that he’s got the Univers...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....
U.S. Soccer Blew It
After many months of ardent campaigning and intense pressure from those inside and especially outside the American soccer system for the implementation of serious, fundamental change at all levels of the sport following the USMNT’s horrifying World Cup qualification disaster, voters in the U.S. Socc...
Geoff Cameron Rips Bruce Arena And U.S. Soccer A New Asshole
Anyone with half a brain could recognize that Bruce Arena’s second tenure as USMNT coach was a monumental failure of historic proportions for which he deserved to be exiled to Soccer Siberia and never heard from again. Ditto for U.S. Soccer’s broader complicity in allowing the men’s national team to...
Immigrants Past, Present, And Future On One Minneapolis Street
About a mile south from U.S. Bank Stadium, in a midtown Minneapolis building-turned-market called Mercado Central, the only visible reminder that a big sports game is happening in the city this weekend is a sign of protest. On a message board dressed with community announcements and plumber suggesti...
The New XFL Is Dumb As Hell But Thank God It's Not Actually Real
C’mon. C’mon. This is not ever actually going to happen. You know it isn’t!...
They Can Destroy You, Too
“[Steve] Bannon’s political fall reveals a major weakness in his brand of right-wing populism: the overwhelming power wealthy donors have over the right-wing media and the Republican Party.” That’s according to the New Republic’s Jeet Heer, in a blog from last Thursday about the former White House c...
U.S. Soccer Only Has Itself To Blame After Losing Jonathan González To Mexico
The United States’ defensive midfielder of the future will not be Jonathan González. A few days after reports surfaced that Mexico would be mounting a serious effort to flip the 18-year-old midfielder, he’s apparently made up his mind and will leave the USMNT behind to play for El Tri. Univision Dep...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on....
USMNT Starlet Josh Sargent Inadvertently Offers Scathing Indictment Of MLS<em></em>
Josh Sargent is one of the hottest American soccer prospects in the U.S. Soccer system. In three weeks, the 17-year-old will ship off to Germany as he prepares to sign his first professional contract with Werder Bremen. The St. Louis native has starred for the U.S. U-17 team, the U-20 team, and even...
Praise Soccer Jesus: Sunil Gulati Will Not Run For Re-Election As U.S. Soccer President
Sunil Gulati, the U.S. Soccer Federation’s president for the last 12 years and the man who presided over the worst debacle in American soccer history, has told ESPN that he will not seek to retain his position in February’s election. This is good news!...
I Am Very Excited To Give Amazon The Power To Unlock The Door To My Home
Great news for insane people and morons: Amazon has disrupted the lock! Now, you can choose to pay money to grant this giant faceless hell-corporation the ability to send strangers inside your locked home when you’re not there. Just like you always wanted....