America Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Commissioners to meet with Trump over America 250 plans
Commissioners from the four major U.S. sports leagues will meet with President Donald Trump at the White House next week to discuss America's 250th birthday plans, The Athletic reported Wednesday.,The NFL's Roger Goodell, MLB's Rob Manfred, NBA's Adam Silver and NHL's Gary Bettman are on the guest l...
Deion Sanders’ recruiting philosophy perpetuates racist stereotypes — and contradicts his family structure
After still being unclear as to what his style of play is on offense and defense after three seasons at Jackson State University, Deion Sanders has now informed us on what he looks for when he’s recruiting, as he prepares to enter his first season at the University of Colorado. Unsurprisingly, his i...
Dabo Swinney's Take On The Pandemic Is What 'Merica Wants To Hear. And That Means We Are All Doomed
In case you missed it, Dabo Swinney, the noted pandemic expert and Clemson football coach, suggested Friday that the coronavirus can be beaten into submission simply through the sheer force of America’s greatness. ...
It's Not Your Responsibility To Make This Easy For Them
A thing you get familiar with, if you ever write critically about the Democratic Party or about its establishment politicians from any perspective located to their left, is people giving you grief for having failed to support the team. “This is why the Democrats will [lose again in 2020/never win/ne...
Joe Biden Is A Doddering Old Mummy With A Skull Full Of Dumpster Juice
Joe Biden’s politics are bad and he is a bad candidate. Ordinarily that might be the most important measure of a guy running for national office: That his positions, both as stated and as demonstrated by his decades in national government, amount to a tepid, grey, nutrient-free broth of long-discred...
Small-Town America Features, Ranked
Today, we’re talking about Steve Kerr, pillow talk, neglected foodstuffs, and more....
The Big Idiot President Is Not Getting Himself Impeached On Purpose, C'mon
Would you get a load of this shit:...
Joe Biden Wants To Be The Donald Trump For White People Who Don't Like Donald Trump
Joe Biden’s campaign announcement video—he’s running for president, of course—begins with Charlottesville, Va. It’s a choice, and the construct it reflects is an interesting one. It says a lot....
<i>The Atlantic</i>: Let's Get Fascist So We Don't Have To Elect Fascists<em></em>
We must repel the barbarian horde, according to The Atlantic. ...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em>
It’s here! It’s finally here! Every year it seems like the big day will never come, but it’s here. It’s the day to gather with your family and friends ‘round the hearth, warm beverages and sweet treats at the ready, and have a hearty chortle over the things America stuck inside itself and couldn’t r...
No, It's Not Good News, It's Never Good News And Never Will Be Again
Here is a good technique: anytime this or that Trump stooge or Republican or conservative (they’re all the same thing, really) makes surprising headlines, and you find yourself wondering if they might have done it for reasons you can respect or admire or at least in which you might possibly vest som...
The Horror On TV
That all of this—the unalloyed and dovetailing lust for power of one white male sociopath and the aggregate of white men, the future of the highest judicial body in the country, that country’s total failure to assign any kind of consequence to sexual violence, America’s marrow-deep hatred and fear a...
Yep, America's Worst Human Is Still President
Hey pals. How’s your morning been? Did your Breakfast Behemoth turn out okay? Here’s what the President of the United States has been up to:...
<i>Washington Post</i> Op-Ed: John McCain Will Haunt Donald Trump Into Defeat From The Mirror Dimension
An increasingly prominent part of my life in 2018 is the urge to grab and cling onto anything that seems, even a little bit, like it might be the thing that Finally Defeats Donald Trump. No small portion of my day is spent managing my relationship to that urge, struggling against its downward pull, ...
How Is This Shit Legal
This past spring, Michael Ferro resigned as chairman of publicly traded media-looting hell-company Tronc, Inc., just ahead of the publication of sexual harassment allegations against him. As a parting gift, Tronc paid him $15 million, voluntarily bundling up the total value of a three-year consultin...
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...
<i>The Atlantic </i>Fires Opinion Writer For Opinions He Held When They Hired Him To Write His Opinions For <i>The Atlantic</i>
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....