america Page 188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out
Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Man...
The Only Rule Is Refusal: A Song For Rand Paul
By the end of last night’s debate, Rand Paul had been reduced to smirking and reciting the Real Fiscal Conservatism rulebook—You can’t spend trillions on the military and be a real conservative, so are you a real conservative?—like a five-year-old who’d caught a playmate in the irreconcilable though...
Big Fat Fabulist Ben Carson's West Point Story Is Bogus
Republican presidential candidate and hip-hop impresario Ben Carson is full of beans. Possibly he is as much as 82-percent beans! His tales of youthful violence keep changing, his Mannatech disavowal was bogus on its face, and now his story of receiving a full scholarship to the U.S. Military Academ...
Larry Lessig Was Running For President, Now Isn't
Larry Lessig is a Harvard professor, campaign finance reform activist, and attorney; he is not seeking the Democratic nomination to the 2016 presidential election. That last bit is new, as of yesterday: He was seeking the nomination before that—didn’t you know?—and now he is not. Baby shoes, never w...
Has An American President Ever Watched Porn In The Oval Office?
Your letters:...
![Protesters Abseiling From The Panthers' Stadium Hang Anti-Dominion Banner [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1502048788417383234.jpg)
Protesters Abseiling From The Panthers' Stadium Hang Anti-Dominion Banner [UPDATE]
We’ve seen it all. Here are two protesters from We Are Cove Point rappelling from the Panthers’ stadium to hang a banner reading “BOA Dump Dominion.” And unlike most Idiots On The Field, ESPN actually aired them!...
American Pharoah Obliterates Competition, Wins Breeders' Cup Classic
American Pharoah completed a stunning 2015 season by adding a Breeders’ Cup Classic victory to his previous Triple Crown. The stallion crushed the world’s fastest horses en route to a six-and-a-half length win....
Jeb Can't Fake A Spleen; The GOP Can't Fake A Candidate
You ask a five-year-old to pretend she is a grownup doing a grown-up job, and she will furrow her brow into a stern expression, scrunch up her little mouth into a tight frown, and speak in a deepened, scolding tone of voice. It does a pretty good—and cute!—job of illustrating how a five-year-old per...
Your Next Plate Of Meatloaf Is My Treat, Lincoln Chafee
“I have had no scandals,” the ostrich man kept saying. If you angled your head just right, you could hear ... Y’know, in case you had me mixed up with that hiking-the-Appalachian-Trail fella wafting along on the breeze of his breath....
Happy Trails Jim Webb, You Shiny-Eyed Jackanape
Jim Webb ended his presidential campaign yesterday. “Presidential” looks weird in that sentence, doesn’t it? Wait ... he was campaigning for President?...
No, Seriously, Dissolve The United States
Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy, a Republican Senator, and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar. Bartender looks them over and says, “Christ, this is 60 percent of the Democratic presidential campaign field? You motherfuckers make Richard Nixon look like Leon Trotsky.” Then Jim Webb knifes him, bec...
The 51 Best Beers I Drank At The Great American Beer Festival
Two weeks ago, I went to the Great American Beer Festival in lovely Denver, Colo., with a simple directive: Drink at least one beer from each state....
<i>American Horror Story: Hotel</i> Will Make You Wanna Vom!
Welp, that was gross! If last night’s premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel told us anything about the season to come, it’s that the five-season-old FX show is now even less for the queasy than usual. Guts and gore have always been a common feature, and Lady Gaga, who looms over this new installm...
American Ninja Warrior Is A Lot Better With Dinosaur Costumes
Even if you have no idea what American Ninja Warrior is, I promise that you will enjoy this clip of someone running through a training course in a T-Rex costume. ...
Sports Writing: Two Words
The 25th edition of Houghton-Mifflin Harcout’s superior Best American Sports Writing series is out. The good folks over at SB Nation were good enough to reprint series editor Glenn Stout’s introduction. ...
The Cool Pope In Central Park: A Totally Worthwhile Five-Hour Ordeal
When Pope Francis was still known as Jorge Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires, he would ride the subway into the most impoverished parts of the city for home visits. If you know only one thing about the guy, that’s likely it—it’s his origin story and, if you’re a true believer, a symbol of his hu...
Marco Rubio's Boy Kinda Punched Rand Paul's Boy In The Face Last Night
Politics, like rap music, is sports. In the throes of competition, tempers flare as the blood gets hot. There’s always some beef. Sometimes, separate parties arrive at blows. Rarely, there’s even gunplay. Within that context, allow us to direct you to the bestest beef of them all, between aides to R...
Dissolve The United States
They are all insane people. Even poor, stressed-out, occasionally lucid-seeming John Kasich: bonkers. Pathology is contextual, and one simply does not bring reasonable takes like Actually, the deal with Iran is okay, provided we do the diligence of enforcing it, just like pretty much every other dea...
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....