american Page 184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Greatest Sportscasters Of All Time; A List That's Sure To Confuse You
Not sure when The American Sportscasters Association put out its list of the top 50 sportscasters of all time, but here it is. Berman's in there! And Joe Buck!...
Greetings, Spinheads
Happy day after Thanksgiving. Today is gonna be looser than usual, given both the tech issues and that the vast majority of you are out shopping, or hungover, or getting ready for high school reunions. We'll cover some stuff, we'll ignore a lot of stuff, and have some fun being buddy, buddy, buddy a...
This Is Why He's Michael Jordan And You Are Not
I'll be honest, I think it's one of the coolest things in the world that Michael Jordan smokes a cigar while he plays softball. Think of how many people in the world could actually get away with that? Probably George Clooney. Or Fidel Castro. Anybody else does it they just look they're trying too ha...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while rescheduling your teen gun giveaway......
Mike Tyson's Rub Out
Mike Tyson is one of those rare breeds who, whatever kind of trouble they get into or bizarre allegation they have thrown at them, it's never surprising. (Ed. Note: Doesn't Simmons have a theory about this?) The latest one proves it; any other famous person on the planet accused of financing a hit...
Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....
Minor League Goalie Peppered With Pucks, Surrenders
Announcement: Michael Leighton is not in the mood to take out the freaking trash tonight — or for any other goddamned requests — after making 98 saves in an American Hockey League game ... and losing. Shit! Leighton and the Albany River Rats lost in the longest game in AHL history on Thursday, when ...
Jeff Reed Is Available If You Have Drink Specials
If you're hanging around Altoona, Penn., at the beginning of June, we highly encourage you to drop by the game between the New Britain Rockcats and the Altoona Curve. Because they've got quite the celebrity throwing out the first pitch....
Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...
NCAA Pants Party: Tennessee Vs. American
Tennessee Volunteers (29-4) vs. American Eagles (21-11) When: Friday, 12:15 p.m. Where: Birmingham...
American Eagles
1. Curse-Breakers. Have you ever played Mario Kart and, just when it looks like you're going to win, the computer defies physics and sends Wario out to give you some competition? And then, thanks to a freaking green shell, Wario ends up winning? That's pretty much the relationship between AU and Hol...
Today's Picto-Tube Schedule
Terrelle Pryor is one of the featured athletes on display in today's U.S. Army All-American Bowl at 1:00 pm on NBC. Continue after the jump for the rest of the day's best television offerings....
Meet Your New American Gladiators
What better way to start burying our infamous 'Nightmare Ant' overlord than with another entry into the timeless "nightmare fuel" tag? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you ... one of you newest American Gladiators ... HELLGA!...
Just A Few More Weeks Until American Gladiators
Shouted over the PA, we hear directions given to these muscle-bound freaks of nature. The director says things like, "Howl for me, Wolf," and "More posing, Justice" and my personal favorite - "Look menacingly while you stare at your balls" (he was referring to the giant balls that were swinging from...
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
You, Too, Can Battle A Gladiator
As you might have heard, NBC is bringing back "American Gladiators" as a midseason replacement this year. This is, of course, outstanding news, though we have a feeling they'll make everybody cut their hair....
Shane Matthews Is Causing You Phone Spam
It's becoming difficult to tell all these new upstart football leagues apart. There's Mark Cuban's, there's the other AFL, there's that weird one with Maurice Clarett that never got off the ground ... there's just a ton of them....
Sebastien Gacond Is Gay (As Long As You Make It Clear It's The "Happy" Kind Of Gay)
This is Sebastien Gacond. He is a professional triathlete, which is impressive; it must be difficult to be an athlete with three major appendages. He is also not gay. Not gay at all. Nothing gay about Sebastien Gacond. He is all man. It is extremely important that you understand this....