ant Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...

How Far We've Come From The Kobe Video
Amazingly, it has been less than a year since the ridiculous Kobe Video broke; look at Kobe now. To this day, we cannot fathom what compelled Kobe to light Bynum up like that to two random dudes he started talking to in the parking lot. We love TheKobeVideo.com; the famously "entrepreneurial" site p...

Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 5
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components — coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle — to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....

Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks...

Dr. Neil Clark Warren Explains The Rare Chemistry Between Kobe Bryant And Pau Gasol
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

This Dirty Kobe Bryant Business
Kobe Bryant's alleged affair with former Laker Girl, Vanessa Curry, is now in its first full week of circulation. Most of the sports blogosphere, wary of the story, kept its coverage to a minimum during the initial flurry, cautiously skeptical about the source (The Dirty.com) and the lack of visual ...

Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...

Only People Not Upset About The Foul Call: The Spurs
Of all the discussions and analysis of the foul-or-not-a-foul that probably cost the Spurs the Western Conference Finals last night, the one thing we can't get our minds around: Brent Barry was taking the last shot? Brent Barry? The guy who ruined the dunk contest? That Brent Barry? Well, jeez, no ...

The Foul That Wasn't (But It Really Was)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait to see how David Stern fixes tonight's Pistons-Celtics game in favor of Boston. When he's not coming up with new NBA Finals conspiracy theories, he can be found humming a jaunty tune at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 4
Basketbawful has pulled out his Ouiji board, Magic 8-Ball and Tarot cards in order to give you a little prognostication for tonight's game....

Vanessa Bryant Goes 'Susie Green' Once Again
Not to take sides on this Vanessa Bryant-Laura Lane cussing-out thing, but I've often imagined that living with Mrs. Bryant must be a lot like living with Susie Green from HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Of course you know that Bryant shrieked insults at ESPN's Lane following the Lakers' game on Friday,...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...

Spurs-Lakers: First Blood, Part II
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to get a very bad feeling about these playoffs. A very bad feeling. When he's having nightmares about another Lakers championship, he can be found crafting Kobe Bryant voodoo dolls at Basketbawful. Enjoy! When you're pushed, killin's as easy...

Is Baseball Ready For Its Closeup?
As much as I dislike the idea of umpires with their heads stuck under black hoods to make games even longer, the momentum of force and time may finally be giving baseball instant replay whether we like it or not. Thank you, umpires, for being so consistently, stupidly wrong on outfield home runs cal...

Broom With A View
Their logo is politically incorrect, their manager is a noted wife puncher and their broadcasters are notorious homers, and I mean all of that in the nicest possible way. But today there is no denying the unstoppable force that is the Atlanta Braves, who completed a four-game sweep of the New York ...

About Last Night
What you missed while wrestling a deer in a hair salon ... • NBA, MLB: Pistons and Tigers both win on the same day? What?? • NHL: Tony Granato is back as coach of the Avalanche, begging the question, why did he leave in the first place? • NASCAR: Kyle Busch earns pole for Coca-Cola 600, has interact...

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

About Last Night
What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ... • NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet. • MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3. • Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but...