ant Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Newest Saga In The Sad Story Of Broke Antoine Walker Brings Us To The D-League
There was a time when Antoine Walker was every Celtics fan's second-favorite player. How our fortunes change. Six months after filing for personal bankruptcy, Walker is reportedly joining the Idaho Stampede — assuming he passes a routine background check....

Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Crazy NYC Corner Store Fight Is Crazy
NYC bodegas are always good for something. Take this ridiculous fight for example. Somebody owes somebody money, so somebody else throws some shit around, then: pandemonium....

Philly Started Tailgating Well Before The Full Moon Rose, So Giants/Eagles Oughta Be Fun
In honor of this evening's American football contest, allow me to present video of Michael Vick's ladyfriend talking about her manpiece along with some Giants highlights that I was able to procure from YouTube....

Van Damme Takes "Kickboxer" Sequel Pitch A Bit Too Literally
At a time when Steven Seagal has become an obese parody of himself on A&E, Jean-Claude Van Damme announces that he'll return to a kickboxing ring to evolve beyond a Hollywood life of drinking, "cocaine and all that shit."...

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brian St. Pierre Is Back In Our Lives!
Matt Moore's injured. Jimmy Clausen's injured. Rather than go with third-string rookie Tony Pike, the Panthers have tapped the immortal Brian St. Pierre, the pride of Boston College....

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

Greg Oden's Shirt Is Far More Accurate Than He Realizes
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When Is An 80-Point Fantasy Football Lead Unsafe? When Your Opponent Has Michael Vick
Reading other people's Fantasy Football stories are usually boring, but poor reader Scott S's running diary of his nut-punching loss thanks to last night's touchdown parade by The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever is quite enjoyable. Enjoy the misery....

Tony Parker's And Eva Longoria's Bland Fairytale Comes To An End
Parker filed for divorce yesterday from his wife of three years. Spurs games just became less interesting, if that's possible. [TMZ]...

Ron Zook Freaks Out, Has A Jim Mora Moment
After Illinois' loss to Minnesota last Saturday, Ron Zook addressed the team's prospects for bowl eligibility. It's one of the finest moments in Motor-Mouth History. H/T Erik...

Giants Stadium Loses Power, Fans Quickly Resort To Violence
Usually at the Meadowlands, everybody's really friendly. That was not the case yesterday when a blown transformer caused a power outage in the new stadium. The fans reacted by very calmly, very assuredly, beating the crap out of each other....

Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....

Sean Avery And The Differences In Hockey Fights
The dichotomy of hockey fighting was made more apparent than usual yesterday. In one, John Erskine and Eric Boulton valiantly pummeled each other. In the other, Sean Avery acted like an asshole, sucker-punched a guy, and started a brawl....

Basketball Trivia Spotted On <em>Jeopardy</em>, Wrong Answers Closely Follow
The time is now to declare that College Jeopardy contestants just might not know very much about sports trivia....

Your "Should've Been You, Floyd" Pacquiao/Margarito Open Thread
So, Antonio Margarito's camp apologized for mocking Manny Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach, who has Parkinson's disease and thinks Manny wins by KO....

Paul Pierce Joins Kareem and Kurt Rambis In The Pantheon Of Great NBA Eyewear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

BREAKING: No-Pants Guy In Vikings Organization Is Not Dennis Polian, Polian's Attorney Says
We have it on good authority that the individual above with the spooky glare and the compression shorts is NOT Dennis Polian. Here's why:...