ants Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

PETA Vs. Canada ... You Knew It Had To End This Way
See, this is where PETA miscalculated rather badly; I would have no problem clubbing a guy in a baby seal costume. In fact, I'd walk several blocks out of my way to do it....

An Entirely New Reason To Want To Leave Cleveland
Now Browns' defensive tackle Shaun Rogers wants to be traded because Eric Mangini passed him in the training room and didn't say hello. [NFL.com]...

Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...

I Guess Brian Bocock Calls It Schwing Training
So here's a rather amusing tale from San Francisco Giants beat writer Andrew Baggarly of the San Jose Mercury. Yes, it involves boner pills. Doesn't every Giants' story?...

Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
Attorneys for Barry Bonds on Wednesday made a defense filing that their client's gigantic skull and tiny nuts should not be entered into evidence at his perjury trial....

The SF Giants Ask That You Kindly Do Not Mock Their Concession Food
Yeah, yeah, AT&T Park features hot dogs that have Thousand Island sauce, a dill pickle spear and "Swish" Cheese. Want to make something of it?? [Home Run Derby]...

Announcing The Third Annual Deadspin Midwest Pants Party
On Saturday, May 23, join Deadspin in Chicago for the 3rd-annual Deadspin Midwest Pants Party. It's good to get out of the house a couple times a year; make this one of those times....

You Are Looking At One Of The Richest Men In The NFL
Eli will apparently become one of the highest paid players in the league after new deal is finalized. [National Football Post]...

Meet The Man Who Will Testify Against Barry Bonds
The Feds are filling out their roster for their big showdown against Barry Bonds, and have found a catcher. Here's Bobby Estalella, who is expected to testify to firsthand knowledge that Bonds used steroids....

Feds Say They Have The Smoking Gun, Er, Urine Sample, In Bonds Perjury Case
You thought that you were in the clear on this steroids thing, Barry, but like all criminals, you made one key mistake. You peed in a cup....

Tiki Barber's Karmic Payback Is Expensive And Sad
Standing in the middle of New York City while a little girl rolls red paint over his crotch, this "Today" show segment pretty much sums up Tiki Barber's post-NFL existence....

Blubbering Giants Fan Wants Everyone To Know He's Big Enough To Take Your Scrutiny
"I’m a fat fuck and whatever the case may be, but that doesn’t stop me from hanging out with my large group of friends, some of whom were even referred to as “banging”…" [KSK]...

Giants Receivers Shouldn't Be Allowed To Go Outside, Near Guns
Giants receiver Taye Biddle, called up from the practice squad to replace Plax last fall, is recovering nicely from gunshot wounds. No, he didn't shoot himself. [ESPN]...

Principal Of School That Administered 100-0 Beating Offers To Forfeit The Win
Covenant School, the Texas high school that beat crosstown Dallas Academy 100-0 in a girls basketball game recently, is feeling somewhat remorseful over their little ass-kicking display....

Jeff Kent Will Fight No More Forever
Irascible shooter of critters Jeff Kent, the all-time leader in home runs among second basemen and super arch-enemy of Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley, is calling it quits....

No, It's Not Real Pee, Officer -- It's My Artistic Interpretation Of The Eagles' Performance In NFC Championship Games
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Super Bowl? Eh; Anquan Boldin Has Bigger Things To Worry About. Like Anquan Boldin
Conspiculously absent from the Arizona Cardinals' wild on-field victory celebration on Sunday: A certain Mr. Anquan Boldin. There are several good TV shows on Sunday night and he forgot to set his TiVo....

Rams Hire Steve Spagnuolo, Formerly D-Coor With NY Giants
Two things you should have known about now-former Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. First, to my knowledge, the man has never had sex with a donut....

Racist Chants From the Stands: Not Just For Spain Anymore
In case the earlier item about racist remarks on the radio isn't your thing, how about fans yelling monkey noises at a black high school basketball player?...

Pantsless Ski Man Finally Finds Someone Who Won't Laugh At Him
A Colorado law firm attempts to keep the photos of the pantsless ski man from circulating any further across the internet. Good luck with that. [The Smoking Gun]...