ants Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gregggggg Easterbrook Is 5,000 Years Old
The coming return of the NFL means it's time for yet another season of ESPN columnist and Christian Mr. Spock Greggggg Easterbrook writing 50,000 words about how smart he is and how stupid and ungrateful the rest of the world is. And, as a bonus this season, Easterbrook is now really old and out of ...

Bryan Stow's Family: He's Showing The "Most Response" He's Shown Since The Attack
On the day that the two men charged with savagely attacking Bryan Stow outside Dodger Stadium in April pleaded not guilty — and officials announced the woman who drove them away from the scene won't be charged — Stow's family posted an uplifting update on their website. Here's part of it:...

More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...

Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...

The Phillies And Giants Engaged In One Of Those Brawls That Really Aren't Brawls But Look Good On TV Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 6, the day our Chinese overlords recommended we seek treatment for our mooching-trillions addiction. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Justin Tuck: If The Jets Are Kings Of NYC, Where's Their Crown?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: shots fired. Pew pew....

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....

Plaxico Burress Will Resume His Career In The City That Incarcerated Him
Former Steelers and Giants WR Plaxico Burress has signed a one-year deal with the Jets. Burress did 21 months in prison after he shot himself in the leg at a club, but he wasn't wearing sweatpants. ...

All Too Good, And Not Good Enough: What Carlos Beltran Meant To The Mets
Carlos Beltran was not a New York Met. I don't mean this literally — Beltran's Mets career spanned six and a half seasons, from 2005 until yesterday. He was with the Mets almost exactly as long as Keith Hernandez was, and longer than Reggie Jackson was with the Yankees....

Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today
The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain cos...

Hey, Kids: If You Sulk On TV, The Giants PR Team Will Reward You
In San Francisco, they make sure the kids develop a sense of entitlement at an early age....

Zubazpalooza > MC Hammer Bobblehead Night
The long-awaited MC Hammer bobblehead night finally arrived in Oakland yesterday, and it was rather exciting for everyone involved....

Giants' Cable Partner Looking For Baby Resulting From Celebratory Post-World-Series Love-Makin'
The San Francisco Giants are a little zanier than the other MLB teams. That's just how it is. Note, for example, some of their upcoming special events at the ballpark: Singles Night (presented by Captain Morgan), "Law & Disorder" Legal Professionals Night, Bill Graham Tribute Night, and, our favorit...

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

This Month In Great Quotes
"We don't have a dress code policy. Obviously, if their private parts are exposed, that's not appropriate. ... So if they're not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly." — US Airways spokeswoman Valerie Wunder....

Miss USA Candidates Attempt To Answer A Question About Evolution, Fail At It
I'll warn you that this video, compiled and edited by the Miami New Times, is uniquely horrific. In it, Miss USA Pageant 2011 contestants attempt to answer — or simply to formulate words in a coherent sentence about the idea proposed — whether or not evolution should be taught in schools. The New ...

Cock-Sucking Son Of A Bitch MLB Players Were Warned About Swearing, Those Cunt-Lapping Bastards
As part of an 1898 campaign to curb the use of foul language in baseball, this memo was purportedly sent to every team. It stands as a fascinating record of Gay Nineties profanity, which doesn't actually sound outdated at all....

LeBron James Is STILL A Cocksucker
If you missed last night's schaudenfreudegasm with LeBron and the Heat getting lane-raped by J.J. Barea for 48 minutes, oh how you missed out. There hasn't been a more gratifying moment for sports haters since the Saints beat Favre and Manning back-to-back in the NFC title game and Super Bowl. It w...

Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...
