ants Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Time To Bring Back The Six-Pack
One foolish afternoon a long, long time ago, Drunkspin risked a lifetime banishment from the good graces of the Craft Beer Movement by suggesting that even the very finest beers—the ones with corks and waiting lists and wicked kickass dragons and/or puns on the labels—contain alcohol, which has been...
Tim Lincecum Is Struggling To Stay Upright
Something about the pitcher’s mound in Cincinnati tonight has Giants hurler Tim Lincecum falling all over the place, in multiple innings:...
Giants Opening Day Features Madison Bumgarner Riding A Horse Onfield
The Giants opened their home schedule in San Francisco today, which meant the World Champions held the appropriate ceremony to raise the World Series banner. That ceremony also featured World Series MVP and post-mensch Madison Bumgarner riding a horse, in the outfield, before the game....
Here Are Two Baseball Players Acting Like Lil' Babies
If there’s one thing you can always count on a baseball player in a high-stress situation to be, it’s a sensitive weenie. Allow me to direct your attention to this moment, from yesterday’s game between the Giants and Padres....
Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...
Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case
The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan ...
Did Ex-NFLer Will Allen's Alleged Ponzi Scheme Prey On Jack Johnson?
The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a complaint against Will Allen, a cornerback who played for the Giants, Dolphins, and Patriots—not to be confused with former Steelers safety Will Allen—accusing the NFLer of running a Ponzi scheme with a Florida woman. ...
UFC Fighter Has A Message For President Obama About College Wrestling
Clay Guida won his featherweight bout at UFC Fight Night today by unanimous decision over Robbie Peralta, but it was his enthusiastic pro wrestling-style promo he cut afterward that draws our attention today as Guida shouted out to President Obama to “don’t forget wrestling.”...
Sim Bhullar Is A Good Giant
The Kings called up 7-foot-5 Sim Bhullar from their D-League affiliate on Thursday and signed him to a 10-day contract, making him the first player of Indian descent in the league. In Bhullar’s time on the Reno Bighorns he’s slimmed down to 360 pounds, and one time he mashed a guy 30 feet into the e...
Bone Broth Is Hot Ham Water
Food trends are an easy thing to hate. They immediately conjure up thoughts of "foodie" culture, $6 cupcakes, and the insufferable idiots who invented kale. But some trends are important and genuinely advance the way we eat. Twenty years ago, cheap Mexican food meant Taco Bell, ramen was $.02 wo...
Rejoice! Alonzo Mourning Says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" Happened!
Today is a great day! It's been almost a year since Dikembe Mutombo went on Highly Questionable and shot down one of the greatest urban legends in sports, denying that he ever walked into a club and shouted, "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" Today, those of us who have held on to the hope that Mutombo was...
Tom Coughlin Wants His Dang Phone's "Lady In GPS" To Shut Up
Giants head coach Tom Coughlin is 68 years old. Factoring his age in with his demanding job, no one's expecting him to be on the cutting edge of technology. And yet, Coughlin's anecdote about his inability to turn off Siri on his iPhone—or, "the lady in GPS"—is still fantastic:...
How To Eat At A Fancy Restaurant As Though You Belong There
I get it. Your favorite restaurant is Big Chuck's Grilled Meat Wagon, parked between The Noodle Truck and The Taco Truck down at the daily lunchtime curbside bazaar of food trucks. Fine. I, too, love Big Chuck's selection of grilled meats. He's got some quality meats down there on the wagon, no one ...
Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...
Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...
The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...
Now There's A Ranch-Dressing Restaurant, So Let's Walk Into The Ocean
Listen. I say the following with a pristine record of support for unhealthful dairy-based coating glops—both as a genre of foodstuffs and in most specific instances—as well as with the firm backing of all available science: Ranch dressing is bad. Bad dressing....
Antrel Rolle Signed With Chicago After Getting A Message From God/Orbitz
Longtime Giants safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears this week, but leaving New York was not a decision he treated lightly. While a guest on WFAN sports radio today, Rolle explained that he agonized over the decision, even going so far as to ask God for a sign telling him what to do. ...