ants Page 88 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
I Don't Get Ed Sheeran
Here's what I know about Ed Sheeran: He's British, he's ginger, he sings, and he recently did his own version of O.T. Genasis's "Coco." I listened to that, and I turned to stone. It did not need to exist, but now it does, and it has done no favors in helping me figure out Ed Sheeran. ...
That Time Someone Said Peyton Hillis Wanted To Retire And Join The CIA
Today, the New York Giants released Madden 12 cover athlete—good job, fans—and running back Peyton Hillis. Did you even know Hillis was still in the league? A better question: Do you remember when a rumor came out in March 2012 that Hillis, at that time a free agent, was considering retirement so he...
Madison Bumgarner Fulfills His Destiny
Here's Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner—a man who wore jeans to his wedding—dressed up as Paul Bunyan for the team's magazine. (The ox isn't blue, but close enough.) Bumgarner doesn't even look that goofy in the getup. He looks like he's found his calling....
After Making Game-Winner, DeMarcus Cousins Goes Off
The Sacramento Kings have been a prominent subject of the NBA rumor mill lately because of reports that they are considering firing head coach Ty Corbin and hiring George Karl to replace him. DeMarcus Cousins has gotten roped into these stories, with multiple reports that he is against the Karl hiri...
The NBA Pulled Some Silly Shit With Its Player Of The Month Award
Ordinarily, the NBA's Player of the Month awards aren't worth talking or writing about, even among people who talk and write about NBA stuff. Oh no—Player X didn't win Western Conference Player of the Month for November, even though his PER was a smidge higher than some other dude's! Winning one p...
Fuck Ties
In formal or fucking situations, people gauge commitment by whether or not you're wearing a useless fashion accessory that serves no other purpose but to give death an upper hand. I'm talking about neckties, the bearers of mythical "power" and evolving "rules," leaving fashion writers tripping all o...
Hey, Get A Load Of This Evil Doctor
The Washington Post has a profile today of Dr. Jack Wolfson, an Arizona cardiologist and holistic medicine, uh, doer or whatever, who's made something of a name for himself by providing a flimsy, fraudulent rime of expertish cover to the reprehensible, morally criminal anti-vaccination crowd in the ...
Your Fake, Zany Craigslist Ad Is Stupid And Annoying
In 2015, the only people out there who have any real use for Craigslist are hookers and serial murderers. Personally speaking, I haven't used the site since 2009, when my wife and I bought an outdoor playhouse from a lady nearby. Turned out the playhouse had a colony of yellowjackets inside of it....
Brent Grimes's Wife To NFL: "Havent U Guys Shit On Him Enough?"
Dolphins cornerback Brent Grimes just went to the Pro Bowl for the second straight season and made its biggest highlight (if such a thing exists) with this pretty interception. What should've been a good weekend for Brent and his wife Miko was not, as Miko explained in a long Twitter rant this e...
Jim Harbaugh Doesn't <i>Always</i> Wear Khakis
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Tinder Girl's Icebreaker: I Fucked Odell Beckham Jr.
Well, if you match with Stephanie, you'll immediately have a way to start the conversation....
The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane
You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL M...
Funkmaster Flex Ethers Jay Z In Epic, Endless, Bomb-Laden Rant
DJ Funkmaster Flex—one of NYC's premier hip-hop DJs, putting in work at radio-station oracle HOT 97 for more than 20 years now—was in inspired, incessantly bomb-dropping form last night, unloading a rambling, 10-minutes-plus diatribe against everyone and everything surrounding Jay Z....
MLB, The Giants, And The Law Job The A's ... Again
Major League Baseball is breathing a huge sigh of relief after a federal appeals court upheld a broad scope of the league's exemption from federal antitrust law on Thursday. But the league's win comes at a high price for the Oakland A's—and adds to the literal shitstorm the A's are in at the old a...
Oscar Nominations Won’t Solve A Fucking Thing
Okay, so the Oscar nominations came out this morning, and all of the acting categories feature white nominees, and all the Best Picture nominees are stories about dudes. As you can imagine, the Problem Internet was not pleased with this development. We go right to the takes!...
It's About Ethics In Restaurant-List Journalism, Mewls Slighted Chef
Breaking: Entitled white dude slings around bogus journalism-ethics complaints in reactionary response to insecurity over his former spot atop a hierarchy! Call it DinerGate....
They Have Teasers For Teasers For Goddamn Trailers Now
Here is a teaser for the upcoming Ant-Man teaser, which I don't want to watch on principle, because FOR FUCK'S SAKE. How desperate for a goddamn Ant-Man movie do you have to be to get a boner over an ad for an ad for an ad?...
Bed-And-Breakfasts Are Stupid
Many people get a certain twinkle in their eyes at the mere mention of bed-and-breakfasts. Ooh, let's take a road trip through New England and stay at bed-and-breakfasts! It'll be so cozy and romantic! This is a baffling and inexplicable notion. Bed-and-breakfasts are miserable and stupid....
Sad Alabama Fan Shits Into Sidewalk Plant (NSFW)
The Sugar Bowl is underway, and plenty of Bama fans have made the drive down to New Orleans, like this lady, who is shitting (we think—that two-point stance is a poopin' stance; at the very least she's pissing in there) into a sidewalk planter. Photo after the jump. ...