ap Page 1440 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Acting! Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the poor unappreciated working stiffs who get paid unconscionable sums to play make believe for a living. It's about time they got some attention....

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Cincinnati Reds: The Looming Tower
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cincinnati Reds....

Spring Training Win Way More Important Than Silly "World Series"
According to awesomely free Philly Metro, a ninth-inning rally by Wilson Valdez exacts "some measure of revenge" for the Yankees beating them at that whole "world championship" thing last fall. I guess one micron counts as "some measure."...

Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....

An Intern Introduction And A Poop-Related Apology
Hello. If you haven't heard, I'm the new Deadspintern (feel free to suggest a nickname). I hope you have enjoyed what I've done so far because it's been a real hoot....

Last Night's Winner: Rioters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Maryland students, who finally got an excuse to smash the state with some real grownup civil disobedience. Wait, did Rick Reilly® sign off on this?...

Time To Start A Band Since We've Already Got A Kickass Album Cover
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It's A Whole New NFL (Or At Least A New Art Department)
I hope you like change, because the NFL sure does. The Lamar Hunt and George Halas trophies have been redesigned — some would say emasculated — but that's far from the only new look we find scary and different....

They Would Vie For Mr. Irrelevant In Dave Chappelle's Racial Draft
Three L.A. teachers were suspended for giving kids photos of O.J. Simpson and Dennis Rodman to carry in a Black History Month parade. Among the alternatives suggested by the district: Kobe Bryant. I have made none of this up. [AP]...

Last Night's Winner: Hoc-key?
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like hockey-crazed Americans, so jazzed by Olympic fever that they set NHL records for attendance and ratings....if only they knew what channel the game was on....

Russians Also Not Shy About Winning, Threatening Olympic Bureaucrats
Russia is taking a page out of the Canadian playbook by making it clear that they intend to dominate Sochi in 2014. They're also taking a page out of the Soviet playbook by issuing ominous warnings to their own people....

The Olympics Were Basically A Two-Week Freudian Therapy Session
NBC's final tally, via Slate's Sap-o-Meter: 107 combined mentions of "father" and "dad," 103 of "mother" and "mom," and 64 mentions of "dream" (the single sappiest word of these Games). How does that make you feel? [Slate]...

Telestrator Dong: Horribly Insensitive Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Utah Will Never Play In a Championship Bowl Game, How to Win an NCAA Pool, and Other Swell Advice from a Departing Gawker Writer
Hello Deadspin readers! My name's Foster. This is my last weekend writing for Gawker. I've written for you jockstrap-sniffing cretins before, but this will be maybe my last chance to do so. So while AJ's over there, here're some words:...

Curt Schilling Is Always In Code Orange When It Comes To Autograph Hounds
"This is a poor analogy, but it's like terrorism. If autograph dealers want to get in, they will...[p]eople who have no interest in me and want me to just sign some things so they can sell them." [ESPN]...

Last Night's Winner: Canadian Men On Skates
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Canadian skatesmen, who prat fell onto the podium for short-track speedskating and held off the feisty Slovakians in hockey for a chance at gold against Amerika....

FOX Sports Needs A Geography Lesson
Apparently, the Rangers and Twins have moved halfway across the state, the Mets and Yankees play on Long Island, and the Cubs and Phillies have relocated to Indiana and New Jersey, respectively. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? [FOXSports]...

NBC's Olympic Coverage Gives Word To Your Mother
Joannie Rochette's teary-eyed ice skating routine almost short-circuited this morning's Sap-o-meter. Seven mentions of "mom" in one night ties a record for this year's Winter Games. 10 mentions of "mother" shatters the previous mark. [Slate]...

Last Night's Winner: Crybabies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who watch the Olympics not for the speed and grace of finely-tuned athletes, but because they enjoy blubbering like little girls over figure skating....