ap Page 1756 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...
Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....
The Mennonites No Longer Hate America
Just hours ago, Goshen College, a private Mennonite-affiliated school in Indiana, played the National Anthem before a sporting event for the first time in their history. It wasn't without controversy. Of course....
How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....
Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...
Your Move, Wake Forest: Your Late Game NCAA Open Thread
Well, that was something wasn't it? Good luck topping that upset, everyone else left in the field....
Last Night's Winner: Pedants
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sticklers for the rules who believe that a lane violation is still a lane violation even in the final minute. In other words, me....
Courtney Coxian Women Confront Snapping-Turtle Problem: Houston-Maryland Open Thread
Before Greivis Vasquez can take his "poor man's Manu Ginobili" routine to the next round, he'll have to lance the proverbial boil that is Aubrey Coleman and the Houston Cougars. Make a sweat pun whenever Gary Williams is on screen....
Jimmer Fredette Is Amazing, According To His Brother's Rap Song
In a jam that is straight slathered in metaphors, T.J. Fredette, brother of BYU's Szczerbiak 2.0, spits fire like ... the first Mormon rapper I've ever heard. Have fun with this....
Rebels Try To Poach Panthers: Nothern Iowa-UNLV Open Thread (UPDATE)
Senior big man Jordan Egsleder leads his band of other people who look like they're from Iowa against Lon Kruger's Runnin' Rebels. Illinois and Atlanta Hawks fans, let your vitriol fly....
"Here Are 10 Things To Expect After You Turn 30"
This Black Table article was published, shit, six years ago and I'm encouraged by the fact that it is still as painful now as it was on March 18, 2004. Getting older is not fun. Make it stop....
Terps As Controversial In Congress As Health Care
The House debates, for far too long, a resolution congratulating Maryland "on an outstanding season." The vote was just as contentious, but at least spared us a Dick Vitale filibuster. [WaPo]...
Even NCAA Sanctions Are Harsher Than Final Four Scalping Laws
Scalpers won't be able to re-sell Final Four tickets outside Lucas Oil Stadium...unless they pay $20 for a license. Hey, Indianapolis has to do something to lure business back to town. [Indy Star]...
Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....
The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...
Less Rex Ryan To Love
Sad news out of New York this morning; an era is over. Rex Ryan had lap-band surgery....
American Legal System Officially Invested In Brett Favre's Status
In the middle of the StarCaps trial, the plaintiffs' attorney asked Brad Childress — under oath — who the Vikings quarterback will be. Sixth Amendment be damned, Favre's will-he-won't-he game is anything but a speedy trial. [Star Tribune]...
Confusing Ad Deemed Too Sexy For Colts Fans
To protect Indianapolis's youngest football fans from being forcibly shoved through puberty by deodorant marketing, the city has rejected an ad that would have gone up in Lucas Oil Stadium....
Newest Capital Having Problems With City Life
Having spent most of his career in hockey hotbeds like Raleigh and Nashville, Scott Walker's finding things a bit challenging. But this country mouse's biggest adjustment has nothing to do with fans or linemates: he's got to master mass transit....
Last Night's Winner: Derek Anderson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Browns occasionally starting quarterback who was finally released from his own personal Purgatory—even if Purgatory isn't exactly sad to see him go....