ap Page 1758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Crybabies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who watch the Olympics not for the speed and grace of finely-tuned athletes, but because they enjoy blubbering like little girls over figure skating....
Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....
Facial Hair Most Pressing Issue In NL Champs Camp
Jayson Werth's beard has been the talk of Phillies spring training. Because this is clearly more important than a lack of a bullpen, there's already an official site for photoshops. [Jayson Werth Beards]...
Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...
Stephen A. Smith Contends Tiger Woods' Apology Was Punkish, Cowardly
Stephen A., emoting: "Certainly he didn't want to address the media, and I thought that he was a punk and coward away from the real issue of addressing what transpired." Sock? Still retired. [SRI/SportingNews]...
The Olympics Have Daddy Issues
Slate's Sap-o-Meter reports: "Cumulatively, the words father, dad, and son were uttered a staggering 47 times between Friday and Sunday," largely on the strength of an Apolo Ohno feature. The Winter Olympics are the new baseball. [Slate]...
Boorish Americans Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like obnoxious United Statesians who are now free to gloat over their nation's Olympic triumphs as exultant underdogs instead of domineering bullies. Suck it, Earth!...
She Also Doesn't Finish On Top, Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink, Say No More
Odd headline from the front page of the Orlando Sentinel sports section: "Danica Patrick won't toot your flute or mess up her lipstick." Very 1950s, in both sexism and euphemism. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Welcome To NY, T-Mac
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Tiger Woods: An Apology In Three Acts
Gawker.TV genius Mike Byhoff has reduced Tiger Woods's apology to its most basic elements: Tiger repeatedly saying he's sorry, Tiger repeatedly talking about family, and Tiger repeatedly sounding like some sort of yogi....
StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...
Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: The Euphemizing Goes Global
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....
Last Night's Winner: U! S! A! U! S! A!
In sports, everyone in a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Americans who, let's face it, are the awesomest winners who ever won a victory. Now it feels like a real Olympics!...
Winter Olympics Still Overcome With Triumph, Cancer, And Dreams
Just like they did in 2008, Slate is highlighting those sticky sweet story lines Olympic broadcasters unconsciously toss out there to give even the dullest of events that special heart-tugging sheen.[Slate]...
Last Night's Winner: Rich Guys
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the under-appreciated billionaires who brought America's Cup back where it belongs: A snooty American yacht club....
Afternoon Olympic Update: Worst Olympics Ever
It's Day 4 and I'm ready to call it. This Olympics sucks....
Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....
Nodar Kumaritashvili Was "Scared" Of Olympic Luge Course
The Georgian luger told his father before he died that he was "scared of one of the turns," but the luge federation says it's not the track's fault that he failed to "compensate properly" after a bad curve. Awesome. [WSJ/ESPN/DMN]...
Potholes Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NASCAR drivers who now know how the rest of the world lives. Except we don't get to take off work because of bad roads....
Drew Brees Has Gone Mad With Power
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....