ap Page 1761 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...
All I Want for Christmas is to Never Hear That Song Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Unfortunately, I Was There
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Duke-Notre Dame , 2007. Hear me out....
Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....
Last Night's Winner: Pointless Tradition
In sports, every one is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Utah Utes, who have won nine consecutive bowl games....every single one of them completely meaningless. We must preserve this hallowed system....
Serena Williams Beats Out Horse For AP Female Athlete Of The Year
Yes, Zenyatta, "who capped a 14-0 career by becoming the first female horse to win the Breeders' Cup Classic" came in second. Kim Clijsters came in third. Fourth? Artie Lange. [ESPN.com]...
The Dog Ate Rick Reilly's Compendium Of Column Ideas
Remember when Rick Reilly punched up an old Sports Illustrated column and filed it fresh for ESPN? Don Ohlmeyer, the Worldwide Leader's ombudsman, sure does, and he's here to console everyone. It was all just a big misunderstanding....
Bizarre Recruiting Hoax Fools None, Confuses All
A sad young man is accused of recruiting high school football players for East Carolina—a school he has no affiliation with and that has never heard of him. What could have been the point of this not-so-master plan?...
Yankees Hope To Revive Glory Days Of The First Half Of The 2004 ALCS
Javier Vazquez's last start for the New York Yankees left the franchise flying pretty darn high. Everything after that was a bit of a blur, but why not give it another whirl? Watch your hands, because this is a HOTFUCKINGSTOVE!...
Roy Halladay's "Dear John" Letter To Toronto
The Phillies' newest acquisition took out a full page ad in the Toronto Sun today to tell loyal Blue Jays fans, "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: Six million, if you count the greater metro area."...
Last Night's Winner: Tyreke Evans' Shorts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Sacramento Kings, who showed up two-and-a-half quarters late (like the fans at a Miami Heat game) and still managed to pull out a win....
Favre Is Like A Kid Arguing With His Parents At Toys-R-Us Out There
Fret not, Viking fans. I'm sure the sight of your quarterback arguing with—and then asserting his dominance over—your coach in the middle of Week 15 is no cause for alarm. All Super Bowl champs wilt in December, right?...
The Drug-addled Voice Of The Carolina Panthers Comes Clean
"Jon Robinson had everything — looks, voice, charisma," a colleague said of the former Maryland hoopster, drive-time radio host, television anchor, Carolina Panthers public address announcer and, all along, cocaine and heroin addict....
Mike Tomlin Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike Tomlin, who managed to avoid joining the list of all-time bonehead coaches ever in the history of anything. Winning is helpful!...
Your Early Games Open Thread
Dear NFL Network: thanks to you, the teams on the early slate are a combined 34 games under .500. Dear blizzard: today wouldn't have been the worst day to knock out TV reception. [The506]...
Last Night's Winner: Gamblers (Half Of Them)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who had money riding on a full-strength Indianapolis team actually giving a crap against Jacksonville. If you bet the other way...there's always slot machines....
Overzealous Phillies Fan Gets Her Day In Court
The woman accused of offering sex for World Series tickets had a preliminary hearing, featuring graphic testimony and topless photos. The dog wasn't part of either. We hope....
Rough Season For The Flyers Naturally Leads To Cuckolding Rumors
A season that many thought would be a promising turning point for the Philadelphia Flyers has devolved into a chaotic nightmare of failed playoff dreams. So obviously someone must be banging a teammate's wife, right?...
Last Night's Winner: Kobe
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kobe Bryant, who has been in much worse jams than Tiger Woods and he's doing just fine now. Can you sink putts at the buzzer?...