ap Page 1772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Here Are The Three Men Who (Allegedly) Beat The 22-Year-Old To Death In A Parking Lot During The Phillies Game
On Saturday there was a silly dust-up at McFadden's (a bar at CBP), which spilled out onto the parking lot and one young man was beaten to death for God knows what. These are the men who (allegedly) killed him....
Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....
Why Your Team Sucks: Indianapolis Colts
Many people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This Deadspin 2009 NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Lance Armstrong Has Failed Everyone
Alberto Contador has won his second Tour de France. Livestrong, Alberto! One person who's thrilled about this news? This precocious, Tour-loving five-year-old. [SI]...
Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...
And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....
Japanese Baseball Robots Already Elected To The Hall Of Fame
Japanese nerds have invented baseball-playing robots with talent far exceeding our own Major League all-stars and they don't require Gatorade or HGH. Well, I guess that's it. We had a great ride, humanity, but our time has passed....
What Did Jim Parque Do Wrong Again?
Former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque has a very lengthy mea culpa in the Chicago Sun-Times today, apologizing to his teammates, family, the entire sporting world, several deities, and his barber, because he took HGH for a month in 2003....
Lance Not Livestrong Enough
Lance Armstrong moved to second place in the Tour de France this weekend, but fell almost two minutes behind his teammate, Alberto Contador. Oh, the indignity of the wingman, fighting for scraps as his "partner" reaps all the glory....
Crumpet? I Hardly Know It!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...
BB Assassins Take Pot Shots At Tour de France Riders
Two riders were hit by BBs during Stage 13 of the Tour, even though lunatic cycling fans can get close enough to club their victims with baguettes. Why not give your crazy violence a more personal touch? [VeloNews]...
Tiger Woods To Miss The Cut At British Open
Woods had two double bogeys on the back nine to finish +5, but the projected cut is 4-over. Only his second missed cut at major since turning pro. Old Tom Watson somehow still tied for the lead. [Open Championship]...
Surprise! No One Cares That Manny Ramirez Used PEDs
Manny came back to Mannywood last night, and the fake dreadlocked Dodger fans welcomed him back with open arms, much to the consternation of you know who....
Metaphor As Illness: Whitlock, Train Rides And The Pursuit Of "Strange Tang"
Since the deaths of Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti, the world has turned its misty eyes to the prose of Jason Whitlock, who has made sense of it all by analogizing crazily and discoursing on "strange tang" and "young tail."...
Have You Seen This Purple Convertible?
Granted, Carolina linebacker Thomas Davis' $136,000 purple and chrome Caprice Classic really blends into a crowd, but it was stolen last week, so holler if you find it. Must be a lot of Panther-loving Prince fans out there. [WFMB/WRAL]...
Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At
I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....
The Rich Get Richer With ESPY Swag
One of the great ironies of life is that the more money you make, the more stuff you get for free. It's the only reason rich people leave the house. So what do they get for going to the ESPYs?...
Sex, Gambling and Gluttony In The Morning. And Some Sports.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
AP's Dumb Baseball Poll And The Durable Myth Of The Overpaid Ballplayer
The Associated Press and Knowledge Networks recently teamed up for a state-of-baseball poll that revealed nothing whatsoever except the silly dogmas of the sort of people who commission state-of-baseball polls, i.e. sportswriters....