ap Page 1809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Child About To Become Somewhat Less Smelly
When we were a kid, we had a T-shirt that said "I Root For Two Teams: The Cardinals And Whoever Plays The Cubs." We found this shirt incredibly clever when we were 10, and we wore it pretty much every other day. But couldn't hold a candle to 11-year-old David Witthoft of Connecticut....
About Last Night
What you missed while officially retiring these words and phrases ... • College football: Tebpwned ... Michigan's 41-35 win over Florida in Capital One Bowl is considered a huge upset, which is why Lloyd Carr won't be coaching anymore. • Tennis: Davenport victorious in return to tournament play in f...
Chris Bosh, Having Fun With The Internets
We support the Raptors' Chris Bosh and his (or, more accurately, his handlers, and NBA.com's) attempts to get himself voted on the NBA All-Star Team. Look what Gilbert hath wraught....
Tonight: Tennessee Titans Vs. Indianapolis Brown Colts
As you no doubt already know, the Titans control their own playoff fate tonight as they battle the Indianapolis Colts in the RCA Dome. Win, and they're in. Lose, and they're ... um ... what's bad and rhymes with lose? Bruised? Sure. Lose, and they're bruised. That, and the Browns get to massage thei...
He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...
Tony Romo Distracted By Watching Marion Barber Run Through Linebackers
I'm sure everyone involved in the Dallas Cowboys organization would love to get home to their families by Sol Invictus, but they all have some unfinished business even after beating the Carolina Panthers 20-13 last night....
Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...
Michael Vick Does Not Approve
We haven't quite wrapped our minds around this alleged news that Jonathan Papelbon's dog at the clinching ball from the World Series last year. We're not sure we believe it....
Lil Ronnie Never Goes Away; He Just Gets HARSHER
Honestly, the "dancing" girls in the background made us very, very sad....
The New York Knicks Will Not Tolerate Your Taunts
If you're a major sports franchise that's trying to survive rough times, you do anything you can to keep the fans on your side ... winning hearts and minds is almost as important as winning games. So that's why, naturally, the New York Knicks on Monday ejected a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah' sig...
About Last Night
And now it's time for the Feats of Strength ... • NFL: Ravens should have beaten Patriots; Dolphins beat Ravens; therefore, Dolphins are as good as Patriots. • College basketball: The Tar Heels are 9-0, and Tyler Hansbrough has a headache. • NHL: Did the Sharks' Joe Thornton fire six shots, or only ...
It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...
Year In Review: April
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with April. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
Yes America, The K-Fuk Era Is Here
Move over, Stubby Clapp. One side, Rusty Kuntz. There's a new sheriff in town. Cubs fans — and America — get ready to welcome Kosuke Fukudome to Major League Baseball, and into your hearts. The Japanese outfielder has agreed in principal to a four-year, $48 million deal with Chicago, which means tha...
About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...
Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....
The Patriots Might Just Be Toying With Us Now
A while back, we said that this whole "call a timeout right before a big play" business would end when someone called a timeout that nullified a great, game-winning play by his own team. That's exactly what happened tonight, thanks to an overeager timeout from Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ry...
At Least The Big Ten Won Three, Anyway
Yes, we know we're the only people who care about the Big Ten/ACC Challenge, but indulge us: It's difficult to find any kind of sustained series between two supposedly competitive leagues that involves such repeated dominance....