arizona Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"The Bears Are Who We THOUGHT They Were!"
We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still...
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Season Preview: Arizona Cardinals
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....
We're Destroying The New Place Already
It's a new beginning for our beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, with a brand new attitude, brand new Paris Hilton-humping quarterback and, of course, brand new stadium. The Pink Taco Cardinals Stadium hosts its first official game a week from Sunday, but they're already holding events th...
New Buzzsaw Stadium Could Be Named After Female Genitalia
You might know that the Buzzsaw's new STATE OF THE ART football stadium currently is called "Cardinals Stadium," which, considering its lack of proper monetary compensation, is not a name that's likely to stick any longer than Bill Bidwell can cash a check....
New Home For The Buzzsaw Debuts
It has always been insane that the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, an NFL team, for crying out loud, has spent the last 16 years playing in a college team's stadium. Only the Buzzsaw would rent out a subpar Pac-10 team's field....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Strap In For The Grimsley Express
So we've been digging through this Jason Grimsley affidavit, and there's some pretty fun stuff. We understand the mindset behind what one commenter called "the missing white girl story of the week" aspect of this, but we kind of have a feeling this might stick. Some highlights:...