arizona Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Season Preview: Arizona Cardinals
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....
We're Destroying The New Place Already
It's a new beginning for our beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, with a brand new attitude, brand new Paris Hilton-humping quarterback and, of course, brand new stadium. The Pink Taco Cardinals Stadium hosts its first official game a week from Sunday, but they're already holding events th...
New Buzzsaw Stadium Could Be Named After Female Genitalia
You might know that the Buzzsaw's new STATE OF THE ART football stadium currently is called "Cardinals Stadium," which, considering its lack of proper monetary compensation, is not a name that's likely to stick any longer than Bill Bidwell can cash a check....
New Home For The Buzzsaw Debuts
It has always been insane that the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, an NFL team, for crying out loud, has spent the last 16 years playing in a college team's stadium. Only the Buzzsaw would rent out a subpar Pac-10 team's field....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Strap In For The Grimsley Express
So we've been digging through this Jason Grimsley affidavit, and there's some pretty fun stuff. We understand the mindset behind what one commenter called "the missing white girl story of the week" aspect of this, but we kind of have a feeling this might stick. Some highlights:...
Jason Grimsley ... SCARFACE!
(One of these guys was on human growth hormone ... can you guess which one?)...
Buzzsaw Asks Leinart To Tone It Down A Tad
You know, it's one thing to have only one playoff victory in 40 years, or to have a never hosted a playoff game in the nearly 20 years you've been in your new home....
Stop Snooping Into Matt Leinart's Life
Ah, Matt, Matt, Matt. What ever are we going to do with you? We know that life as a member of the Buzzsaw seems scary right now, that it feels like it's your last summer before you have to go back to boarding school .... but seriously, now....
The Porn Stars Of Tempe
Inspired by a post at Every Day Should Be Saturday comparing the Texas Longhorns logo to female reproductive organs, the fine folks at The M Zone have come up with other college sports logos that have more than passing resemblances to various pop cultural icons....
Look! It's A Big Sheet Of NFL Lists!
Ordinarily we make fun of ESPN overkill around these parts, but we won't lie to you: We have absolute no problem with the network's around-the-clock, BREAKING NEWS, live live live! coverage of the release of the complete NFL schedule. If you're not around a TV, it's really something to watch; they...
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Diamondbacks
Baseball is here! Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're previewing the season by going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at [email protected]. Today: The Arizona Diamondbacks. Tomorrow we c...
Your NL West "Preview"
You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pu...