art Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Two Games For Chokeslamming Says Nothing About Mike Matheson's Intent, But A Lot About The NHL's
Panthers defenseman Mike Matheson has been handed a two-game suspension by the NHL for this slam on Vancouver’s Elias Pettersson, who is now out indefinitely with a concussion. It was an unnecessary hit, and yes, a dirty one, but there’s no way DoPS would have punished this if it hadn’t injured a yo...

Chargers Score TD With The Help Of Russell Okung’s Obvious False Start
Chargers receiver Tyrell Williams caught a nice leaping touchdown in the end zone to take a 20-3 lead over the Browns, and Cleveland’s fans booed loudly. They weren’t booing the score so much as the officials, who they thought missed a false start penalty on Chargers left tackle Russell Okung....

Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start
Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...

It Is Hazardous To Look Directly At Alex Smith's Lowlight Reel
It was not quantifiably the worst passing performance of the season or even the week. But Alex Smith’s Monday night stinkbomb, especially contrasted with a superlative (and record-breaking) game from Drew Brees, was for my money the ugliest QB performance of the season....

J.R. Smith And Marcus Smart Are Keeping The Cavs-Celtics Rivalry Alive And Well
The NBA season doesn’t start for another nine days, but J.R. Smith and Marcus Smart are already back on their bullshit. In the first quarter(!) of last night’s Cavs-Celtics preseason game, Aron Baynes and J.R. Smith got into a scuffle when Baynes appeared to try and pull a Kelly Olynyk on Smith’s sh...

Artemi Panarin Is A Monster, And A Monster Headache For Columbus
Double-shifting in 3-on-3 overtime is dangerous, when every forward has to backcheck on every counterattack, and a tired skater could easily mean an odd-man rush the other way and sudden death. But that’s exactly what Artemi Panarin did for Columbus, staying on the ice for a line change in overtime ...

Aaron Rodgers Is Taking Shots At Mike McCarthy Again
That thing is happening again, where everyone is wondering if there’s some serious internal discord plaguing the Green Bay Packers. Eyebrows were raised when after Green Bay’s 22-0 victory over Buffalo, a game in which the Packers did not play as well as the score indicates, quarterback Aaron Rodger...

Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...

Tremendous, Compounding Boners Lead To Incredible Own Goal
VfB Stuttgart surrendered one of the most embarrassing own goals you’ll ever see this weekend, thanks to a combination of mistakes from left back Borna Sosa and keeper Ron-Robert Zieler....

No Man Under 30 Has Won A Tennis Major<em></em>
Happy birthday to Marin Cilic, who turns 30 today, and thanks for making tennis history. As of Sept. 28, no men’s tennis player under the age of 30 has won a major. This has never occurred before in the sport. Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, Stan Wawrinka, Juan Martin Del P...

Carolina Hurricanes Continue To Dance On Hartford's Broken Corpse
Hartford, one of America’s shittiest cities, received more bad news today. The logo, music, and iconography of the Hartford Whalers—the scrappy lovable hockey team that Peter Karmanos uprooted in 1997 and moved to Raleigh, N.C.—have been officially appropriated by their successors, the Hurricanes....

Ryan Fitzpatrick's Gotta Start Next Week, Right?
The second quarter was FitzTragic, as the Buccaneers QB—as of yesterday, and that’s all that’s certain—threw three interceptions on three consecutive passes. But that was an aberration, one quarter in three games. On the other hand, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s near-comeback in a 30-27 loss to the Steelers ge...

Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...

Willie Taggart Pleads For Patience After Florida State Gets Boatraced By Syracuse
The start of the Willie Taggart era in Tallahassee has been quite the shitshow. The Florida State Seminoles entered this season ranked 20th, yet three weeks into the season, they’re 1-2 and look like they’ll struggle to even make a bowl game. Jimbo Fisher’s final season with the Seminoles went poorl...

Brandon McCarthy Will Retire With The Nicest Stats In Baseball
Pitcher Brandon McCarthy, who has played for seven teams over 13 major-league seasons, said in August that this year with the Atlanta Braves would be his last. He will retire on a high note....

A Frank Talk About Jacking It With Your Pals
The NFL: It’s for sure happening again, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, a lot of it is really honestly pretty bad and shitty to watch, but it’s happening. There’s no way around the fact that it’s certainly happening. The games count, and that some of it at least is fine; the Browns and Steelers tied,...

The Storm Snapped The Mystics In Half To Become WNBA Champs
The Seattle Storm completed their sweep of the Washington Mystics on Wednesday night, outclassing their opponent on the road and winning 98-82 to capture their first WNBA title since 2010 and third championship overall....

Never Mind, The Raiders Actually Want Martavis Bryant Now
The Oakland Raiders dropped wide receiver Martavis Bryant 11 days ago, insisting at the time that the guy they traded a third-round pick for on draft night wasn’t released because of a possible drug suspension, but rather because he wasn’t very good and kept missing practice. Now, they’ve taken him ...

Lawsuit Claims Larry Nassar Raped And Impregnated Field Hockey Player In 1992
A lawsuit against Michigan State University filed by former Michigan State field hockey player Erika Davis alleges that disgraced former university doctor Larry Nassar sedated, raped, and impregnated her. The suit also claims that former athletic director George Perles, who is now a university trus...

It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg
With 3:29 remaining in the fourth quarter and Nebraska leading Colorado 28-27, the Huskers were at midfield and driving toward the end zone when freshman quarterback Adrian Martinez took the ball and sprinted on a designed run to the right. Martinez hadn’t been perfect in his first-ever start, but w...