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Bart Scott Says Prince Amukamara Should Be Hazed More
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rookies should probably stay away from Bart Scott....

Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...

Richard Bachman Will Wear A Stephen King-Inspired Goalie Mask
It's got to suck to be the Dallas Stars' backup goalie. He'll never be the most famous person named Richard Bachman, even though the guy ahead of him isn't actually named Richard Bachman. But he's embracing it, with this new mask from David Gunnarsson, featuring art from The Shining....


Mark Martin Is Lucky He's Not Dead After Crash In Michigan Today
Mark Martin is 53 and only races part time these days. Today being one of those days, Martin was leading on lap 64 of the Pure Michigan 400 when things quickly turned south....

Robert Flores Plugs His Own Idea For An ESPN Quiz Show
No word yet on when it will air, but good on Flores for having a sense of humor about it. If we're really lucky, Andy Katz will be able to provide some colorful commentary....

It Took Long Enough, But Someone Finally Made A Hitler Minigolf Hole
It's not even cathartic! You can't even clang a ball off his fiberglass groin, since it's hollowed out to make a tunnel. All he does is heil at you, and, I don't know, bark like a seal?...

Massive 12-Year-Old Too Big For Pee Wee Football, Too Bad At Football For Middle School Football
KDFW reports on the story of Elijah Earnheart, who at the tender age of 12 is already six feet tall and weighs nearly 300 pounds. Elijah wants to play football, but because of his size, he's been banned from his Mequite (Texas) Pee Wee team. Once you get the giggles out over the Fox screengrab of po...

Dictionary Researchers Credit Gary Carter With Popularizing "F-Bomb"
Once again, it's time for the word-lovin' folks at Merriam-Webster to add a few more selections to their growing collection of vernacular. This year, the word "F-bomb" will be included for the first time, along with sexting, energy drink, life coach, and 96 other entries today into its latest print ...

Mark Sanchez Confidence Report
As training camp continues, so does the most important quarterback controversy in the 6,000 year history of the world. We will haphazardly monitor the progress of the Mark Sanchez-Tim Tebow competition....

Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives
There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....

Olympic Cyclist Sent Home After Getting Really, Really Wasted
Belgium's Gijs Van Hoecke had an OK showing last week: a 15th-place finish in the multi-discipline omnium, and part of a ninth-place sprint team. But for the vast, vast majority of Olympians, it's not about medals. It's about the entire experience, and that includes drinking enough to kill a small f...

Synchronized Swimmers In Wolf Bathing Suits? Synchronized Swimmers In Wolf Bathing Suits
Meet Isabel Delgado Plancarte and Nuria Diosdado Garcia. They are a pair of Olympic synchronized swimmers from Mexico, and they both have rad wolves on their bathing suits because wolves are totally rad and fucking bad ass....

Curtis Martin's Hall Of Fame Speech Was Actually Pretty Touching
The Pro Football Hall of Fame induction weekend isn't much of a treat. The color palette is too mustardy. The proceedings bore even their attendees: Last year, John Elway texted during it. The game that follows it inevitably features a short series from the first-stringers before they yield to slo...

Two Golfers, A Kicker, A Lemonade-Lovin' Linebacker, And One Crazy Goalie: The Few Athletes Who Endorsed Chick-Fil-A
A rule of thumb: if you'd like to learn about the next culture-war shitstorm before it hits, you're best served by visiting sort-of Bruins goalie Tim Thomas's Facebook page. (I say "sort-of" because Thomas has announced he'll take next year off from the NHL.) Thomas weighed in on Obamacare and birth...

Wait, How Did Olympic Men's Tennis Actually Become A Fun Event?
So there was Roger Federer, beating Juan Martin del Potro in an insane Olympic semifinal: four hours and 26 minutes. A 19-17 third set. The longest three-set match in the Open era....

Would You Like To Donate Money To A $50,000 Sarah Phillips Documentary? If So, You Are Too Late
A few days ago, someone wanted to raise $50,000 for a Sarah Phillips documentary. As we remember, Phillips got into all sorts of trouble while she was a columnist at ESPN and a gambling columnist at Covers.com. But this proposed documentary didn't set out to wrestle broader themes like creepy scams...

Frank Martin Is A Big Fan Of Pitbull And That Is Weird
South Carolina men's basketball coach Frank Martin is some kind of walking contradiction. On the one hand, he's got a haircut befitting a goon in the inevitable Dick Tracy reboot, and when he screams at his players he looks exactly like kind of guy who relished voting for Nixon....

The Reds Won 10 In A Row, So Now Marty Brennaman Has To Shave His Head "Like A Baby Nutsack"
Marty Brennaman doesn't have a ton of hair left, it's true. But what remains atop the Reds radio voice's dome is white and poofy and instantly recognizable, and come Friday, it's going to be on the clubhouse floor....

NASCAR Announcer Cannot Remember His Broadcast Partner's Name
Everything about this is just a mess. ESPN NASCAR announcer Marty Reid has an absolute brain fart on air when introducing his booth-mates before throwing in the towel. He first stumbles when introducing Dale Jarrett (once he remembers his name) and then just gives up on introducing Andy Petree by ...