art Page 318 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Valenti's Great Leap Forward
You might remember the great, mad meltdown of Michigan State Spartans broadcaster Mike Valenti after his team lost to Notre Dame earlier this year. Well, The Wizard Of Odds has found a YouTube of Valenti's demented rant set to music and Spartans football "highlights." Not only is it wonderful to rev...
Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...
Introducing The Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament
Since Sports Illustrated is making its unveiling of the 2006 Sportsman Of The Year award into a two-month enterprise, we figured we could do the same thing. Therefore, we are introducing the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament, where 16 nominees will compete for the sainted title. We've put ...
Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Welcome, At Last, To Ron Artest's World
You might have missed it with all the business of watching parades of sexy nurses/witches/superheroes/hockey players pass by, but on Halloween, the new album from Ron Artest "dropped," as they say. It's called "My World," and it is apparently not inspired by the weird song Axl Rose put on the end of...
Vince Carter, Back In Toronto: Awesome Idea!
Last night, the New Jersey Nets — our favorite team to play in NBA Live, by the way; if only they'd just move to Brooklyn already — handled the Toronto Raptors, helped of course by Vince Carter, whose exit from Toronto was one step removed from Tom Cruise refusing to leave the South Park closet unti...
End of the Line for Curtis Martin?
Nice - if, you know, it turns out to be true - scoop from the Newark Star-Ledger:...
They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Dave Stewart's Anaconda Story
During this World Series travel day, we take a breather and head to Series Past, specifically the A's teams involving Dave Stewart, who has always been one of our favorite pitchers. He's badass, he has a sense of humor and he was so much better than people remember him, for some reason....
Does This Mean The Curse Is Back On?
It's our sad duty to report that Nelson de la Rosa, who was known as the world's smallest actor and who was a friend of pitcher Pedro Martinez, has died at the age of 38, of unknown causes. De la rosa had just arrived in the U.S. from Chile to visit relatives. The 2-foot-4 de la Rosa had become kn...
The Mike Tyson Of College Football
That was Miami Hurricane player Anthony Reddick apologizing for his helmet-swinging role in the brawl against FIU. I'm pretty sure someone wrote that for him... and they must've just scribbled it really quickly and illegibly, because he seemed to be struggling with it. For some reason....
Today In Broadcasting History
So what now for Lamar Thomas? It's ironic that the only real loser in the big UofM-FIU battle on Saturday was the guy sitting in the announcer's booth — albeit a guy who wanted to get down there and mix it up, or so he said. Thomas, as you know, was cast adrift by Comcast Southeast Sports on Monda...
Lamar Thomas Speaks (Kind Of)
We're having trouble locating it specifically on CanesTime, the message board for Miami football, but several other Scout.com boards have posted what is allegedly a message from recently fired Miami Hurricanes radio broadcaster Lamar Thomas, whose now infamous tirade about beating down FIU players h...
Also, We're Pretty Sure That's A Facemask Penalty
Welcome to Brawlgate, Day 4, as fallout continues from Saturday's melee between the Hurricanes and Golden Panthers. The Atlantic Coast and Sun Belt Conferences handed out 31 one-game suspensions late Sunday — 18 for Florida International, 13 for Miami — but, as they say, a new wind was about to blow...
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
Back To You In The Booth, Lamar
So it may not come as a surprise to anyone that more suspensions have come down following the steel cage match between the University of Miami and Florida International football teams on Saturday. A total of 31 players have been dinged — and must sit out their respective games this weekend — 18 from...
Your Friday Cross Dressing/She-Male Roundup
If you know us, you're familiar with our usual gripe: It's getting so that you can't stage a simple dragon-boat racing competition these days without someone breaking the rules by cross dressing. From Reuters:...
Kids And Darts! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
And so finally, we have the concept for the next Johnny Knoxville movie. The British Darts Organisation is campaigning for their sport to be included in the 2012 London Olympics; and to that end, they've opened the Darts School of Excellence in London. It's for for kids ages 7 to 18, as England atte...