art Page 264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ravens' Torrey Smith, In The Safest Place Imaginable, Ran For His Life When The Earthquake Hit
Smith, the Ravens' second-round draft pick out of Maryland, was doing a UM commercial when the earth moved. Owings Mills is 120 miles as the crow raven flies from the epicenter of the quake, so we're sure it was intense. We're also sure that a wide open football field is precisely the safest place...
US Marines Serving In Afghanistan Warned Not To Fart So Audibly
Battle Rattle, a Military Times blog, has an important dispatch from the front lines, which they wanted us to share with you. So often we forget about the sacrifices our troops abroad make to protect this nation's freedom. Sacrifices like sphincter clenching....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...
<em>GQ</em>'s Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again
This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? ...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...
Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...
Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Boone Logan Ex Machina
New York Yankees starting pitcher Bartolo Colon threw himself-and all humanity-on the mercy of the universe Friday night, by daring to pitch against the Boston Red Sox. And the universe delivered a mixed verdict: 4.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 K, hooked for Boone Logan with the bases loaded in the fifth. The Y...
Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....
Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....
Time To Get Unreasonably Angry About LeBron's Akron/Heat T-Shirt
LeBron James shared this photo with the world on his Twitter feed today, and it might just be the perfect LeBron James offense: it is, first of all, coupled with a feel-good story about kids raising money for his foundation with a lemonade stand in New Canaan, Conn., and it is not really an offense ...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Hard Work Is Rewarded
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and repository of ultimate philosophical truths, battled once more against entropy and meaninglessness on Saturday. Also against the Baltimore Orioles. A hit batsman and an error behind him put Colon on the ropes in the first inning, but he struck out Mark...
Ron Artest Is Still A Little Confused About Why Deadspin Was Calling His Phone
Here's what he told the LA Times: ""You know what man, it was kind of crazy," Artest said. "People are trying to pull not even pranks, but try to stir something up that doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't make any sense. People call you and then pull pranks. I never shied away from the media. ...
A Belated Farewell To Jeff Carter And Mike Richards: The Legion Of Poon
Thanks to a report from Philadelphia Daily News's intrepid Mighty Dan Gross on Monday, two former Flyers are being torched for their excessive nightlife adventures when they were both members of the team. The implication is, subtly, that their reluctance to curb their Jäger-bombing escapades through...
We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....
Ron Artest's Strange Sexting Saga
The Story: I got a blessing from my Lakers-fan boyfriend and texted Ron. I had to. And yes, I sort of knew where this was headed-a few requests for a picture of me, some photos and videos from him, some questions about my personal life....
My Frustrating Sexting Sessions With Ron Artest
At first, I thought Ron Artest, the man you may now know as Metta World Peace, and I could become friends. Blame my naivete, ego, or optimism, but I really thought this could be platonic....
On The Phone With Ron Artest, And Matthew Hiltzik, The Michael Clayton Of Dong Shots
Is this true? "No, not at all."...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....