art Page 266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....
Ron Artest's Strange Sexting Saga
The Story: I got a blessing from my Lakers-fan boyfriend and texted Ron. I had to. And yes, I sort of knew where this was headed-a few requests for a picture of me, some photos and videos from him, some questions about my personal life....
My Frustrating Sexting Sessions With Ron Artest
At first, I thought Ron Artest, the man you may now know as Metta World Peace, and I could become friends. Blame my naivete, ego, or optimism, but I really thought this could be platonic....
On The Phone With Ron Artest, And Matthew Hiltzik, The Michael Clayton Of Dong Shots
Is this true? "No, not at all."...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....
Stay Tuned On Monday For A Strange Tale Of Sexting With Ron Artest
I called Ron Artest shortly after two this afternoon, for the second time. I wanted to talk about dong shots, and a story we're running Monday about a girl with whom he had a sexy-texting relationship. She wrote for us about the bizarre comedy of texting with Ron Artest. She didn't ask us for money,...
"Champagne King" Don Johnson Is At It Again, This Time With The U.S. Women's Soccer Team
We've mentioned Don Johnson on this site before, first because of his exploits at the blackjack tables in Atlantic City and later because of his exploits in nightclubs, where he buys enormous bottles of expensive champagne and sprays people with his foam. On Monday, party Johnson popped up in Avenue...
End Of Two-A-Days: The Players Win An Early Labor Battle
It's being framed as Bart Scott playing the contrarian, but that's burying the lede. The real story is the elimination of two-a-day practices in training camp, a change midwifed during these climactic lockout negotiations....
What Does Bartolo Colon Mean Today?
Life is a small sample. So what are the metaphysical implications of the most recent game pitched by the Yankees' 38-year-old fourth starter? After July 14 (0.2 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 0 K), "Defeat had simply taken wonder's place." Last night? 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 9 K. Wonder is back!...
Justin Abdelkader Would Bomb Michigan's Big House Off The Map If He Could
The Red Wings' Abdelkader, a former Spartan, took a ride with the Blue Angels in an F/A-18 Hornet. "We flew over Ann Arbor, went over the Big House – if we'd had had a couple bombs on it, maybe we would have dropped a couple on there." He's joking, we think. [Detroit Free Press]...
The Metrodome Should Be Condemned
Last year, the Vikings replaced the turf at the Metrodome because the old stuff led to too many twisted ankles and torn ligaments. There was a whole to-do, and it went to court, and eventually they were allowed to bring in the new turf. It lasted all of one season....
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
Perhaps This Is Actually A Fine Example Of Architectural Splendor, But All We See Is Church Dong
The Holy Trinity Church in Scarborough, UK is a perfectly nice, old building with apartments for sale....
Roger Federer Is Art In Warp Speed
In late June, French "action painter" Jean-Pierre Blanchard completed a Roger Federer portrait in just four minutes. The piece was bought for 16,000 Swiss Francs, or about $20,000 USD, and because all of the proceeds went to charity, we will refrain from speculating on its actual worth. We've gone...
This Evening: Ron Artest Tells The Worst Pot Joke You've Ever Heard
Your p.m. roundup for July 15, the day we bombed on Good Day New York. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Soulful Paintings Of Brittney Palmer, UFC Octagon Girl
This little lady is Brittney Palmer. She's the UFC's new octagon girl. Her job is to flounce about a cage in a bathing suit while intoxicated meatheads shower her with lustful stares and wolf whistles. It's a helluva job, and Palmer does it well. But she's much more than her profession! She's also a...
The Miami Heat Are World Champions Of Doing Whatever It Takes To Defeat Children In Knockout
We'll give Dwyane Wade credit for taking a more playful approach to the game than his teammate, but my god, these guys just won't lose! (Except for those times that they lost.)...
Mick McCarthy's Secret To Successfully Managing A Soccer Team: Handshakes
Wolverhampton manager Mick McCarthy has finally revealed the secret to his immense success. Every morning, McCarthy greets his players by firmly pressing his palm meat against their palm meat, curling his fingers around their fingers and ecstatically pumping his hand inside theirs. Over and over. Un...
MLS Proves Soccer Superiority Over EPL With Fluke Goalkeeper Goal
When a mid-table American side takes on a mid-table English side in a friendly, you throw out the record books. San Jose faced off against West Brom last night, and both sides rested most of their starters because, c'mon, it's San Jose vs. West Brom. But that meant that Earthquakes keeper David Bi...