art Page 268 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh Great, They're Letting 8-Year-Old Girls Fight In Muay Thai Rings Now
"Princess" Jasmine Parr and Georgina "Punch Out" Barton will do battle in Australia today. (Hell, they already may have, what with the International Date Line and all). Parr is the eight-year-old daughter of kickboxing champion John Wayne Parr; Barton the brood of some similarly irresponsible pare...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

New Soccer Uniform Looks Great On Torso-less Players
The unveiling of a team's new kit is a summer tradition, and it's a cynical one. In the US, minor design changes are made and alternate jerseys introduced simply to spur fans to spend more money. In Europe, there's that, and there's a brand new sponsor to plaster across fans' chests....

NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....

Dirk Nowitzki Dance Party!
Behold Dirk Nowitzki: America's favorite German, the NBA Finals MVP, the man who made being a mostly-unknown national hero look so easy, and the man who made a one-legged step-back jumper look even easier. But! We've unearthed one weakness. Dirk Nowitzki is a rather tortured booty-dropper....

How A Regular Angels Fan Found Himself In The Owner's Private Bathroom
The Orange County Register has the cool story of how Mike Langdon, pump salesman, found himself in Arte Moreno's suite. If you guessed it involved four-time AL All-Star (ed note: really?) Mark Langston, well, you're right. But we'll get there....

Ron Artest Is A Trooper When Confronted With Possums, Falcons And Snakes
Here's a clip from Thursday's Jimmy Kimmel Live, the Joy Division to Grantland's New Order, involving a prank pulled on Ron Artest. (It's okay, since Artest's 2010-11 season was a prank he pulled on Laker fans.)...

Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...

Bringing An NHL Team To Quebec City Is Literally The Most Important Political Issue In Quebec
You know all those jokes about French Canada? Turns out the National Assembly of Quebec hasn't heard them yet. This is a completely bizarre story, with obvious law-breaking, party defections, and boondoggles so big you wonder if Halliburton has opened a Québec branch office....

A Long List Of Sports Figures Who've Also Claimed Their Twitter Was Hacked
As soon as Rep. Anthony Weiner first acknowledged his roiling Twitter-bulge scandal with a desperate "I've been hacked" defense last week, we knew he was guilty. "I've been hacked" is the first refuge of a cock-Tweeter. Weiner isn't the first to mistakenly send a private Twitter flirtation to a rel...

The Rays Have More Or Less Every Pick In Today's MLB Draft
The amateur draft is today. If you didn't hear about it, don't blame MLB: they're trying their best to promote it, even leaking the announcement of the first overall selection to their own site. The overall lack of publicity means that Tampa Bay's surreal achievement is going unnoticed by the averag...

West Virginia's Toxic Circus: The Boozer, The Lame Duck, And The Vengeful Coach's Wife
West Virginia's coaching situation is, to put it as mildly as we can, a total clusterfuck. Whoever in the athletics office thought it would be a good idea to hire Dana Holgorsen as head-coach-in-waiting, while still keeping current coach Bill Stewart around for another year, ought to find themselves...

Tim Tebow Dreams Of A World In Which College Athletes Get Paid Enough To Buy Scooters And Eat At Outback
Tim Tebow was on the Daily Show last night with a brand new tagline: Author. If you haven't heard, by way of the book's trailer (this is a thing that is apparently done quite regularly now) or his Colorado-to-Florida book tour, the 23-year-old quarterback has released his first-quarter-of-life mem...

The Justice Department Is Very Interested In The BCS's Legality
As are we all (fans will take the empire crumbling any way they can get it, but the government probably has more say in that than sports writers.) Bill Hancock will meet with DOJ lawyers sometime this summer for what he's calling a "voluntary background briefing." Basically, they want to know how th...

Who Wants To See A Golf Cart Hit A Tree?
According to a commenter on Shane Bacon's blog, this is from the Ladies European Tour. Can we still make woman driver jokes if it was a male course official? How about European driver jokes? [Dogs Chasing Cars]...

It Would Be Soooo ABA If The Miami Heat Logo Looked Like This
Any team with a "theme" name is probably going to have a bad logo. That's just how it works. The Miami Heat is no exception. The team's logo is a flaming basketball dropping into a toilet bowl. Crap, I say. Lucky for us, an overly devoted Miami fan (whom I happen to know) took the trouble to search ...

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

The Photo Of Kevin Durant's Dunk Will Replace The Taj Gibson Poster That Replaced Bruce Lee Posters Across America
With apologies to Taj Gibson, who replaced Bruce Lee just four days ago, this posterized Kevin Durant dunk over Brendan Haywood (click here to see the full view) should now be required to hang above every American mantlepiece in felt-tip form....

The Decision About LeBron's <em>Decision</em> Was An Orgy Of Self-Interest, With Jim Gray On Top
There's a brief section about The Decision in Those Guys Have All the Fun, and if the details aren't exactly fresh, the takeaway is somewhat new: Everyone involved was using everyone else for their own ends to produce what amounted to a massive orgy that they all came to regret the next day. And LeB...