art Page 276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....

World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....

Tom Izzo: Spartan "For Life"
That sounds about right. Now ... exhale. [Lansing State Journal]...

Earthquake Interrupts Padres Game
A 5.7 earthquake struck during the eighth inning of last night's San Diego/Toronto tilt. Guess God isn't a fan of interleague play....

Somebody Hit A Drive Off Of Stewart Cink's Crotch
It was at his charity event in Florence, Ala. PGA duffer Zach Johnson confirmed via Twitter that Cink's scrotum was intact after the stunt. [Extra Mustard]...

LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....

How Not To Leave A Message For A Woman You're Hoping To Date
Dudes: The follow-up phone call is important—but try not mention that you'll call again in one month because you're currently living with another woman you sort of care about, because you're also homeless. Save that for email. [Gawker]...

Benni McCarthy Dropped From South Africa’s World Cup Squad For Being Too Fat
The only thing worse than missing a chance to play in the World Cup must be missing a chance to play in the World Cup on home soil....

Last Night's Winner: Maria Menounos
In sports everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the Celtics' shit-talking Greek mascot, Maria Menounos, who's become Boston's Ashley Judd during this year's Finals run ....

Oh. Bye.
Have a good vampirey weekend everybody. I'll be back tomorrow dicking around because everyone else deserves a day off. Including you. So stop by only if necessary. And God bless The Starter Wife....

Last Night's Winner: Queensbridge In The Building
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the largest public housing project in the country, which got a hard-earned national TV shoutout from the night's hero, Ron Artest — and Craig Sager....

Lakers Win Officially Destroys Rock-N-Roll
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sex Slavery, The Internet, And The Wisdom Of Crowds
At 3:09 p.m. Wednesday, a user named "fake" posted a thread titled "Help me help my friend in DC" to the seemingly staid "travel & transportation" section of Ask MetaFilter. What's happened since then is your feel-good-while-feeling-bad story of the day....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

Would-Be Robber Foiled By Novel "Giant Rugby Player" Security System
One robber learned the hard way that, when casing your target, make sure there's not a 300 lb. athlete who likes swinging chairs, and dislikes having a gun pointed at him....

UNC Freshmen Start The Summer Off Right By Drinking On A Party Boat
Pictured is UNC freshmore John Henson with two girls who are likely in his statistics study group. At least they appear to be having as much — if not more — fun as stuntman-to-be Tyler Hansbrough. [COED Magazine, via]...

Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...

Bill Self To Dance, Dance, Dance The Night Away For Charity
The Hoops Doctors uncovered this video of a leisure-suited Bill Self promoting an upcoming charity event, to be held in Kansas City....

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...