art Page 281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....
LA Headline Writers Need Sensitivity Training
"Injuries Haven't Killed Angels," trumpets the headline in the LA Daily News. Except for, you know, that injury that killed an Angels player four months ago. [LADN]...
Fart-Gate Officially The Dumbest Sports "Scandal" Of The Year
So this is actually a thing now? Several major media outlets devoted real newsprint to the mysterious case of Tiger Woods’ non-flatulence. Lawyers got involved. Official statements have been issued. Answers have been demanded. How did this come to be?...
Second Gatti Autopsy Doesn't Rule Out Homicide, According To "Celebrity Pathologist"
Arturo Gatti's body was exhumed Friday for a second autopsy, this time in Gatti's native Montreal and this time with the assistance of Michael Baden, a real-life forensic pathologist who also plays one on TV. Examiners found "some surprises," unsurprisingly....
Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....
Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open
Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Wil...
Steve Bartman Not Allowed To Die Quietly
ESPN is producing a documentary on Steve Bartman, finally giving the world the narrative no one asked for. It's sure to rip out the hearts of Cubbies fans, the players don't want it, and I'm guessing Bartman's not thrilled either....
MLB Deadline Deals: Everyone Must Go
Victor Martinez to Boston, Peavy to White Sox (coughshoulderinjurycough) Washburn to Tigers (huzzah!), Orlando Cabrera to Minnesota, Scott Rolen to the Reds for some unknown reason, and Roy Halladay isn't going anywhere. Was it good for you too? [MLB.com]...
No One Is Buying The Arturo Gatti Suicide Story
Fight promoter Lou DiBella got a standing ovation at a memorial service when he said, "God knows that Arturo Gatti never quit in his life. Arturo Gatti did not quit in Brazil." Now that's how you work a crowd....
Odd Foreigner Chooses Fruity Little Tattoo Over Reebok Deal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Arturo Gatti's Death Ruled A Suicide By Purse Strap
A court ordered that his wife be released immediately. She had been accused of strangling her drunk husband with a purse strap while he slept, but apparently the subsequent investigation "excludes the possibility of murder." A totally understandable mix-up. [AP]...
I Know Steve Bartman And This Man Is No Steve Bartman
See this fan? He almost grabbed the ball that DeWayne Wise caught to save Mark Buehrle's perfect game. He should feel, really, really, really bad. [Washington Times]...
Spectacularly Awful Beats Boringly Mediocre Every Time
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
How To Get Donald Trump All Fired Up
The Donald was cruising around Trump National — the best, most stupendously fabulous course in New Jersey, of course — when someone stole his No. 13 golf cart. Doesn't he have, like, apprentices to make sure that doesn't happen? [Star-Ledger]...
Bill Simmons Shapes Young Minds
The Sports Fella recommended one young reader attend Dartmouth over Princeton (via his ever-popular "Mail Bag"). Amazingly, the young lad listened to him. Yep, this is our next generation. [IvyGate]...
Sports Psychologist Takes Full Credit For Stewart Cink
Who is really to blame for "stepping on a Hall of Famer's neck" and ruining golf forever by not laying down for Tom Watson. Not that jerk Stewart Cink. Send a note to Dr. Morris Pickens, famous sports psychologist, instead....
Well, That Was Anticlimactic
Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug....
Autopsy Concludes Gatti Is Dead, Little Else
Just when you thought a retired athlete could be killed by by a scorned paramour, and that would be the end of the story, comes a report out of Brazil that answers no questions, but generates plenty of new headlines....
Erin Andrews' Chin Has Healed Nicely...
But it appears she was attacked by a tiger before the ESPYs last night. Hope she's okay. [TMZ/Hot Clicks]...