art Page 281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Cirrhosis Of The Liver
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all you rummies out there who have merged St. Patrick's Day and March Madness into a sort of extended holiday—Hanukkah for drunks....
This Passes For Athlete Thuggery At A Northeast Private School
At Oregon, football players steal laptops from frat houses. At tiny (but expensive) Drew University, a lacrosse player is accused of stealing and re-selling priceless historical artifacts....
Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Jim Schwartz Pursues Free Agents Like A Deranged Ex-Boyfriend
How do you convince talented and (mostly) sane players to move to Detroit and play for the Lions? If you're Jim Schwartz you sit outside their house in the middle of the night and leave heaving breathing on their voicemail....
The Ron Artest Hair Odyssey Gets Cancelled
All that fuss over Artest's purple-and-gold, multilingual hairstyle? For naught. After letting Vince Carter go off for 25, Artest shaved the whole damn thing off. [Twitter]...
Jets Bonus Goes Straight To Cromartie's Baby Mamas
Antonio Cromartie has seven kids by six women in five states, and a partridge in a pear tree. The Jets fronted him some cash to clear up his paternity suits before he reports to camp. Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL!...
Ron Artest's Hair Odyssey
His rebounds and steals per game are down for the year. But Ron Artest still means defense! Or at least he's gotten it dyed in his newly-platinum hair, in three different languages. He thinks that's what it says, anyway....
Things So Bad For Ducks, They're Cheering For Huskies Now
Oregon fans gave Brandon Roy a standing ovation before last night's game. UW's Brandon Roy. Who was decked out in purple UW gear. What's wrong with this picture?...
Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....
Tailpipe: "He Didn't Seem The Least Bit Interested In Hugging Her Curves"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....
Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....
I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...
Last Night's Winner: Every Other Sport That's Not Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who awoke from their post Super Bowl-hangover, rubbed their eyes and realized we've got a lot of time to fill between now and September....
I Was There: "It Was The First Time I Actually Saw Women Making Out With Cars"
New Orleanian Christian Sauska was there, too, and he sends us the following account:...
I Was There: The Happiest Abandoned Streetcar In New Orleans
In the fourth quarter, after the Saints had pulled ahead 24-17, (I'm told) I ran into Carrollton Ave and stopped a streetcar by standing in front of it and waving my arms......
Not-Completely-Sober Freddy Garcia Has Some (Profane) Words For The Cubs
We're not saying Freddy Garcia is drunk in this video, taken at the White Sox' annual SoxFest. We're just pointing out he's unsteady on his feet, slurring his words, and saying "fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."...
Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...
Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...